


Cause Love's Such an Old Fashioned Word

by AliciasClarke (fyeahgila)



Series: It's just you and no one else [2]
Category: The Rolling Stones
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Edith Grove, Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Roommates, Sweet, flatmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2020-12-22 22:16:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 34,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21083978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fyeahgila/pseuds/AliciasClarke
Summary: When Mick first met him, he didn't know the impact this big eared, quite coy, but amazingly witty bloke would have on him. There was no way then to foresee what a huge part Keith would play in his life. That he'd become his life.Prequel to "I Feel You In My Heart" written as a series of interconnected oneshots.





	1. Sing Along To It

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,  
only always working on Far From Perfect got a little too much for me in the last days because it's such a sad topic inapired by really sad personal events (it WILL get cute and fluffy tho with time, I promise!), so I just needed a break from it and started writing on this long planned project. 
> 
> It's gonna be a series of interconnected oneshots that may or may not be read on their own as well and I'll update the tags accordingly as this keeps progressing. It's starting out a little bit canon compliant at Edith Grove, even though it's obviously going to be an AU, as always. It's also the first time in years I decided to use chapter titles again just because I think it's fitting...hope you enjoy this! 
> 
> The story title obviously is a line from Under Pressure by Bowie and Queen...

October 1962

When Mick first met him, he didn't know the impact this big eared, quite coy, but amazingly witty bloke would have on him. There was no way then to foresee what a huge part Keith would play in his life. That he'd become his life. 

He was standing in front of a four story building somewhere in Chelsea, re-checking the address scribbled down on a worn out piece of paper, making sure he was in the right place. There was a small garden in front, nothing more than some unkempt lawn and withered flowers, not unsurprisingly for this time of the year. 

A mate of his from LSE had introduced him to Brian at a party, knowing that Mick liked Blues music, telling him that Brian actually was playing various instruments. He'd seemed like a nice enough and fun guy to hang out with and they'd gotten along rather well. After chatting about their favourite US musicians and the struggle of importing their records, Mick had casually mentioned that he still was looking for a flat to move into because he was sick of commuting to the city every single day to attend classes. Almost as casually, Brian had replied that he could need one or even more roommates for his Chelsea flat. And as luck would have it, they'd agreed for Mick to drop by and have a look around to decide whether he'd like to move in. 

Making his way up to the second floor, Mick could hear music growing louder the closer he approached. After a moment, standing in front of the door to Brian's flat, just listening, he realised that it wasn't a record being played, but actual instruments. A guitar and a harp. It didn't take him long to notice that it was a song by Little Walter, one he quite liked a lot. Curious to find out whoever played these particularly fine tunes together with Brian, Mick rang the doorbell. 

"Oi, Mick, come on in!", Brian greeted him, as he opened up, holding a harp in his hand. 

"Hey. I just heard you play, totally dig that song", Mick commented as he stepped inside. The floor was pretty narrow and there were two rooms on either side of the entrance door.

"Yeah, I've got two mates over, jamming a little", Brian explained as he led Mick into the small and quite messy kitchen, while his mates just kept playing guitar in the other room.

"Don't look too closely, I didn't really get around to cleaning anything up…", he meant and Mick only nodded. It rather seemed like Brian had never cleaned up anything around there before, but it wasn't like Mick knew how to cook too much anyway. And with that they already were on their way to the next room, an even tinier one with just a toilet and sink.

"Showers are outside on the floor to be shared with the next door neighbours", Brian pointed out and for a moment Mick questioned whether he truly wanted to move out from home where his parents had afforded the luxury of a bathtub. 

"It's fine", he eventually settled for as a reply, thinking of the overfull trains, his dad permanently telling him to not listen to his music so loudly, and his mum nagging him to tidy up his room. 

"Alright then, let's have a look at your room", Brian returned, as Mick followed him to a sparse bedroom with a big closet, a bed and a spare mattress on the floor in the other corner. There was a chair as well as a small drawer, but that was about it. Paint was chipping off some parts of the walls that once had been pristine but now rather seemed off-white, worn out like the few pieces of furniture. It wasn't much, really, but Mick figured it would make do. 

"Actually I was just talking to one of my mates about it, and he's thinking about moving in as well. What do you say? You'd be sharing the room then", Brian informed him. Mick didn't quite know what to make of that, actually he'd hoped to finally have his own room because at home he'd shared one with his younger brother for years now. 

"Can I meet that bloke at least before agreeing on sharing a room with him?", Mick replied in a joking manner and Brian chuckled.

"'course, I wanted to introduce you guys anyway", he meant, turning around and Mick followed him to the last room, Brian's own bedroom. It was chaotic and amazing all at once, because he had clothes and old plates and empty beer bottles scattered all over the place, whilst his cupboard holding records over records and a player was neatly organised. There was an electric and an acoustic guitar lying around, as well as some exotic instrument Mick had never seen before. In the midst of all this mess, two lads were sitting on the blue carpeted floor, each an acoustic guitar on their laps, plucking along to some funky little piece of music Mick hadn't heard yet. 

One of the guys apparently hadn't had too much practise with the guitar so far, his play still sounded a bit bumpy and he clearly didn't hit all the right tunes. The other one, however, had either been playing for years already, or he was a natural, maybe both. Mick watched his fingers sliding over the strings with ease, all but mesmerised by the way the other boy was playing. Whilst the first one had stopped, almost as soon as they'd entered the room, he kept plucking the strings of his guitar, not even sparing a glance for them. For a moment, Mick wasn't even sure whether he'd noticed Brian coming back, bringing him along, because he seemed totally engrossed in his play. Like it was the only thing in the world that truly mattered. And maybe to him it did. 

"That's Mick. He's here for the room", Brian said, disrupting the moment. "This are Ian and Keith", he added, introducing the other lads and only now, Keith stopped playing, but didn't put his guitar away as opposed to Ian. 

"Hey", Ian meant, holding a hand out for Mick to shake it. 

"Are you learning to play?", Mick wanted to know. 

"Is it that obvious?", Ian chuckled. "I just wanted to try...I'm actually way better on the piano. Do you play?"

"Uh, I got a guitar at home, yeah...but I don't really play a lot", he gave back, thinking of his guitar that had been leaning untouched in a corner of his room for months. 

"Any other instrument then?", Brian wanted to know, falling down on the armchair standing next to his bed, motioning for Mick to take a seat as well. 

"Well...actually, I sing...sometimes", he sheepishly admitted, as he sat down on the foot end of the unmade bed. It was the only thing he did, really. He adored music, couldn't live without it, but so fat he'd never had enough muse and endurance to truly learn how to play any instrument. 

"You do? Let us hear!", Ian prompted him, giving him an expectant look. 

"Nah, it's not that good…", Mick tried to talk himself out of it. He loved singing along to his records, or just randomly when riding his bike, or when taking a shower. But he hadn't really sung in front of people for years. When he was a little boy, this was a completely different matter. He'd always been singing and dancing and hopping around, his parents being amazed by it up unto the point where they might have gotten slightly annoyed. 

"Come on!", Brian encouraged him, picking up his harp and blowing some random tunes, which elicited a grin from Mick because he was playing lazily on purpose, making Ian wince.

"Stop that noise, you twat!", he yelled in mocked annoyance, throwing an old jumper across the room to land im Brian's lap and they all ended up chuckling. 

"You know that song?", Keith then asked, while starting to play the melody of a song by Eddie Taylor. It was the first thing he had contributed to the whole conversation since Mick and Brian had entered the room. 

"Of course, I do", Mick replied, a lopsided smile on his face because he actually loved that song. 

"Then sing along to it!", Ian encouraged him, as Brian joined in on the harp. 

"Fine...okay…", Mick mumbled and then waited for the right moment to pick up the lyrics, singing the chorus, at first a little self conscious, timid, but as Keith and Brian kept playing and Ian started clapping along, he got more into it, got a little groovy, clapping his hands as well. Actually, it was amazingly fun watching Brian and Keith play their instruments while he kept singing along to the music they made. They both were insanely talented, it definitely made Mick wish he could learn to properly play an instrument as well. Maybe Brian could teach him the harp, it seemed like an interesting choice and Mick was amazed by the sounds it was able to produce. 

"Nah, your singing totally isn't that good at all...are you kidding me, mate? You're bloody awesome!", Ian commented once they'd let the song fade out. 

"Are you sure you don't want to try and be a singer? Actually we've been thinking about starting a group", Brian meant and Mick actually felt flattered by how smitten the other blokes were with his singing, still thinking that it wasn't such a huge deal. 

"I...never really thought about it", Mick only shrugged because it wasn't something he'd truly been considering. Singing just for fun and mainly to himself was an entirely different matter than performing in front of an audience.  
As he kept musing about this, his gaze drifted over to where Keith was sitting on the floor. He had lighted a fag that now was lazily dangling from the corner of his mouth while he was staring at Mick almost in wonder. As their eyes met for a moment, Mick could feel himself getting somewhat self-conscious once again, but before it could become too awkward, he turned his attention back to Brian instead. 

"Do you really wanna form a band?", he wanted to know. He'd heard a lot of kids talking about it before, but most of the time it seemed to be nothing more than an unfulfilled dream. 

"Why not? Are you in? We need a singer and you're the best I've heard in quite a while", Brian pointed out and Mick started to grin. 

"Don't make me blush", he joked, laughing, trying to hide the fact that Brian's words actually played up to him. "And alright, I don't mind jamming with you guys", he added, because it was really fun and also because he'd never met this many people before who shared his affection for Blues music. 

"Does that also mean you're moving in?", Brian inquired with a grin. 

"Sure, why not", he simply agreed. "Who of you might be moving in as well?", he wanted to know then, looking from Keith to Ian and back. 

"I'm thinking about it", Keith meant and for some reason Mick was glad about this news. Ian appeared to be a fun, easy going guy, but Keith definitely seemed to be the more interesting potential roommate. Mick couldn't quite tell yet, whether Keith was just being shy or what it was about him, but there was definitely something more to him than only this first impression gave away. The way he was playing guitar was incredibly brilliant and there was something special about how he let himself get engulfed by the music. Almost like he didn't simply play it, but like he lived it. 

"You wanna stay and jam some more?", Brian questioned then, ripping Mick out of his thoughts.

"Only if you teach me how to play that harp", Mick returned with a grin and while Brian started laughing about it, out of the corner of his eye he could see Keith smirking.


	2. You're bloody brilliant, too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :)  
thank you so much for reading! At the moment I really enjoy writing these short chapters, it's fun and relatively quickly done once I get around to it. Hope you like this one as well! 
> 
> Also I was thinking a bit about this lately and maybe I might wanna try having a beta reader again, the last time I had was years ago. So in case any of you guys might be interested in that, let me know here (or hit me up on Tumblr @ronnie-woody) cause I think it might be fun. I don't expect of you to correct my grammar or so, so you don't have to be a mayive speaker (I mean neither am I xD) it would rather be pitching ideas back and forth or maybe help me out if I get stuck, stuff like that? but I guess we could figure something out...in case any of you would like to do that, I think it could be quite nice :)

Life at Edith Grove with Brian and Keith was quite an experience. They were always short on money and what little they had was swallowed up mostly by the rent. As the weather outside was getting increasingly colder, they all kept adding more and more layers of clothing, because they couldn't really afford heating. There never was enough food around either, so Keith and Brian made a habit of nicking things from the store around the corner. Mick thought they were being preposterous and in turn they mocked him for being a wuss or mummy's good boy. Their mess in the kitchen seemed to get bigger with every passing day, none of them caring enough about doing the dishes or cleaning anything up. At least their laundry was taken care of by Keith's mum who wanted to help them out since Keith couldn't always come up with enough money for the rent. Each of them had to pay about two pounds per week and if Keith couldn't scrap up enough, Mick and Brian would jump in for him, covering the rest. 

"Who's actually mummy's boy?", Mick quipped one evening as Keith was joking about him not ever daring to shoplift even as much as a halfway rotten apple. At least Keith possessed the decency to blush because they all knew Mick's words were partially true. He was an only child, obviously his mum was overly protective of him. 

"You want me to tell her to stop doing your laundry?", Keith deadpanned, but the glint in his eyes told Mick that he was just kidding around. They both were slightly tipsy from having the one or other drink at the party where they'd gone to with Brian earlier, who eventually had disappeared with some girl. 

"You want me to stop paying your rent?", he replied, only half seriously, because of course he didn't mean it, either. 

Even though they'd all just been living together at Edith Grove for a couple of weeks and the place was a dump, they still enjoyed their arrangement. That way, they all had finally got out of their parents' homes and could do whatever, whenever they wanted. Most of the time this meant staying up until ungodly hours, playing music, smoking and joking around until their neighbours threatened to call the police. Mick liked the place, not because it was especially nice or great to live in, but it was theirs and he enjoyed Keith's and Brian's company immensely. Having to share a bedroom with Keith wasn't as off-putting as it had sounded at first, and he'd probably never admit, but he actually loved their late night talks and banter. Recently, countless of hours of precious sleep had been lost to whispering back and forth with Keith through their darkened room. Philosophising about songs written by Chuck Berry or Muddy Waters, telling each other funny anecdotes from their school days, wishfully dreaming about what to do or buy if they actually had some more money. 

"You're a wanker", Keith just returned, flipping him off, as he went over to his bed, pulling his jumper over his head. 

"Fuck off", Mick chuckled, while he was fishing for an old sock to throw at him. 

"You fuck off", Keith meant, catching the sock midair as if it was a ball, then jugging it right back at him, but Mick simply ducked away.

After yet another study session in the library ahead of the midterm exams, Mick came back home to find their kitchen all cleaned up and tidy. He'd never seen it like this before, it was almost shiny and for a second he questioned whether he'd accidentally walked into the wrong flat. It couldn't be though, because Keith was there, smirking as he noticed Mick's astonishment. 

"What happened?", he wanted to know from Keith who'd just put the kettle on to heat water for some tea, staring at him as if he'd witnessed some kind of miracle. And considering the absolute mess this place had been before, it probably was.

"Ask Brian", Keith replied with an almost annoying grin and Mick only raised his eyebrows in question because clearly there was something odd going on here. 

"Where is Brian?", he wanted to know, poking his head out the kitchen door to look around. 

"Oh who knows, downstairs probably", Keith meant in a tone that told him he actually knew exactly where he was. 

"What would he be doing downstairs?", Mick furrowed his brow. He didn't know the neighbours from the first floor too well and only was aware that an elderly man was living in the flat on the left who always listened to the news on full volume because he was almost deaf. The flat on the right belonged to some single, middle aged woman he'd seen about once during the time he'd been staying there. 

"Shagging the lady from downstairs, you know the bulky one with glasses and red hair?"

"I didn't need details, you twat", Mick gave back, grimacing at the thought of Brian with some 40-something year old woman who wasn't even fit at all. 

"Well, you asked", Keith snorted as he brewed up the tea. "You want some too?", he added, as he sat down at the tiny kitchen table and Mick only nodded, taking another cup out of the cabinet.

"Why does that have anything to do with the kitchen being cleaned up?", he inquired then, taking a seat as well, his brain too mushy from all the studying to catch up on what Keith was implying. 

"They came to an agreement", Keith giggled and then Mick could finally connect the dots.

"Uuugh…", he made, squinching up his face once more. 

"Yeah…", Keith agreed, stirring his tea. "How did your classes go?", he wanted to know and Mick was glad for the change of topics. Even though he didn't particularly want to talk about university, either, because the amount of studying he still would have to do for the exams was mildly stressing him out. 

"Same old, lectures, library, some more lectures, some more time at the library...how was your day?", he summed up, hoping Keith would have something more interesting to offer. 

"Brian and I were thinking about getting us some gigs soon. Like, asking around at pubs and clubs if they'd let us play", he told him, actually sounding excited about the prospect. 

"But we don't have a drummer yet", Mick pointed out the obvious, as he put some milk into his tea. 

"Who cares, we can find one, first we need some place that'll let us play anyway", Keith argued. Lately, Brian and him had been all about listening to Blues records and jamming along, all day, every day. They were totally eager to put a proper group together, one that actually would play gigs and not just sit around on someone's dirty bedroom floor. 

"That's...I mean it's neat", Mick commented, but he wasn't quite sure how they should go about it if they didn't have the whole ensemble together. They needed a drummer, that much was for sure. Apparently, he must have sounded rather indecisive, because Keith asked:

"You wanna do this, don't you?"

"Yeah, sure I do", Mick gave back, still not too persuasive. 

"Cause if you don't, we also need to find us a singer", Keith meant and couldn't suppress a sigh. 

"No, I'm in", he eventually proclaimed because he didn't want to stop jamming with the other lads. 

They had an amazingly good thing going on there, even if they only were keeping their music to themselves so far. But it was a lot of fun and both Keith and Brian seemed to think what they were doing might be quite promising, or otherwise they wouldn't invest almost all their time into practising. Brian had some crappy part-time job as a painter that he always complained about and Keith didn't even seem to make any effort to pursue any other path than the one of playing music. Sometimes he taught guitar to some kids a couple years younger than them, earning a few pence, but just enough to contribute something to the rent. For them, at least at the moment, making music truly seemed to be their sole destiny. 

"Perfect", Keith smiled at him widely over the mug of tea he was cupping with his hands, holding his gaze for a moment before averting his eyes. He looked like he wanted to add something, opening his mouth, before just wetting his lips with the tip of his tongue. "You know…", he eventually started after a silent moment where he'd just stared at his tea and Mick wondered what he was about to say. "I never told you that before, but...I actually think you're the greatest R&B singer on this side of the Atlantic", Keith confessed, his tone surprisingly certain for a statement like that. 

"Don't be silly, Keith", Mick replied, chuckling, because he didn't believe his words, even though he had sounded completely honest, not like he was messing with him. By now, Mick knew the telltale sign of Keith just fooling around, his lips curling up ever so slightly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. But now, he was just mustering him, the smile on his face was nearly sweet and there was a sentiment in his eyes that Mick couldn't quite pinpoint. The fact that Keith wasn't messing around made it even more obvious that his prior words were one hell of a statement. Mick actually felt his cheeks flush because what Keith had admitted to him was about the best compliment he ever got from anyone. And also because Keith kept looking at him with a warmth in his brown eyes that made the temperature in the room seem slightly more agreeable. 

"I mean what I said, I do", Keith finally affirmed him, his voice all earnest and the look he gave him was almost tender now. 

"Thanks...that's...that's about the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my singing", Mick replied, hating how coy he sounded about this and that his throat felt like he didn't have a drink in ages. Usually he wasn't like that. Keith was the shy one between them, even though he'd warmed up to Mick rather quickly since they'd first met each other. They'd only been living together for two months, but being stuck in the same room, it hadn't taken them long to get closer to each other. 

"You always act like this ain't a big deal...but it's huge", Keith meant and Mick had to grin because he could be saying the very same thing about his roommate. 

"Actually, I think you're the one not realising how bloody great he is", he countered and Keith only ducked his head, snorting in disbelief. 

"Have you seen Brian?", he gave back then, incredulously. 

"I know, he's brilliant...but you…", Mick started, trailing off again because there was so much he could tell him, but he couldn't quite settle for something, thinking that in the end it probably might come across as stupid anyway. 

"Yeah?", Keith prompted him to go on, nevertheless. 

"I think you're bloody brilliant, too...I just thought you should know", he settled for, aware that his own words sounded pale in comparison to the way Keith had complimented him before. 

"Thanks", Keith still quietly mumbled and for some inexplicable reason the sheepish smile he gave him made Mick's heart skip a beat as he couldn't stop himself from widely smiling back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trivia time: 
> 
> The thing about the lady from downstairs cleaning their kitchen in exchange for a shag wasn't made up btw 😂 according to "Mick & Keith" by Chris Salewicz, if I remember correctly, James Phelge (their other flatmate at Edith Grove) came up with that idea xD 
> 
> Also according to Keith's autobiography, he called Mick "the greatest R&B singer on this side of the Atlantic" in a letter to his aunt shortly after they met again on the train in Dartford.


	3. I figured we'd be warmer together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
thank you so much for reading, liking, commenting, I really really get so happy each time to see new kudos and stuff :)  
Atm I really enjoy writing these short chapters, it's something different for a change...the 4th one is like halfway done already and I hope I don't promise too much or am sounding too cocky when I say that there's a scene that's one of the best (in my own humble opinion lol) that I have written in months xD at least I like it a lot...  
But first, enjoy this chapter here!

February 1963

They had played their third gig as a proper band that night at some Kensington pub. So far they weren't booked regularly and it was a lot of tough work, going around from place to place, trying to convince people to give them a chance and let them play. Still, this was so much better than just jamming at home. Standing in front of an actual audience made his blood rush in a way Keith had never felt before. Of course, he was nervous each time they stepped on these tiny stages, worrying about potentially messing something up, wondering whether the audience would enjoy their set. But each time he started playing, his nervosity and stage fright vanished, being replaced by a feeling that almost came close to being high after smoking a blunt, just way better and way more rewarding. 

However, this time his stage high hadn't lasted for too long after they finished their set of R&B covers. Unsurprisingly, Brian had chatted up some girl at the bar right away, buying her a drink. Meanwhile, Ian and their new drummer, Tony, went off with his drum kit, driving to another place where Tony was supposed to play with his original group, a jazz band. Drummers were the most wanted musicians in town and it had taken them a while to agree with Tony to join them occasionally. In the end, he probably just did because Ian had a car and promised to drive his gear around. Tony had already been playing with his other band for a couple of months and secretly they were hoping that maybe he could make some connections for them. 

Keith had picked up a bottle of beer from the bar, not staying there to have a pint, but drinking it whilst walking home. Alone. Paradoxically, amidst all the people in the pub, he'd still felt lonely in the end, with none of his friends and bandmates there to keep him company. Since he didn't dig jazz much, he hadn't accompanied Ian and Tony. And Mick had flung himself at this girl, Franny, whom he had started seeing a couple weeks ago, almost as soon as they'd left the stage. Keith couldn't stand her, she was too loud for his taste, and her laugh sounded faked, and he honestly didn't know how Mick fancied her because half of the time Keith saw them together, they were arguing about some pathetic shit. The other half of the time, they were making out and once he'd accidentally walked in on her going down on Mick in their room. He'd thrown a pillow at him, yelling to piss off, as Keith had slammed the door shut behind himself, running downstairs with his face all red in embarrassment. 

While walking the icy streets, he beat himself up once again over being too awkward and coward to chat up a pretty girl himself. Brian had tried to play wingman for him before and actually got him a date with some cute blonde, but in the end it turned out that she had just agreed on seeing Keith because she'd fancied Brian and hoped to see him again as well. Keith hadn't been angry about it, just pretty disappointed, and ended up drowning his feelings in booze. Then, he'd picked up his guitar and played for hours straight until his fingers hurt and the only thing left on his mind was the music he was making. 

Once finally home, he put on another jumper before burying himself under two blankets, huddling up on his side, trying to keep the cold out. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't jealous of Mick for not being there with him anymore lately, but always being out with Franny instead. This wasn't as much about Brian and Mick getting laid all the time, but rather about Keith feeling left out and lonely. Sometimes, he really wasn't quite sure whether he actually wanted a girlfriend as well, or just wanted his friends to take note of him again and hang out as much as they used to. 

Eventually, he must have fallen asleep, because he was woken by the creaking of the door and sat up, blinking through the half dark room. Only the light of the street lamps falling through the blinds from outside slightly illuminated the darkness. 

"Did I wake you?", Mick whispered, his voice oddly raspy as he shuffled around and ended up swearing as he bumped into his chair. 

"Hmm…", Keith murmured, halfway asleep, as Mick suddenly switched the light on. 

"I'm sorry...it's just for a second", he explained apologetically as he struggled out of his trousers. His voice sounded as if he had been crying. 

"Did you...cry?", Keith couldn't stop himself from asking in his drowsy state, blinking against the light and rubbing his tired eyes. 

"Of course not", Mick commented, almost a little snappy, which made Keith believe that he was right about his assumption. 

"What happened?", he wanted to know, looking over at him. Mick was just pulling a warm jumper over his head. 

"Nothing", he brushed him off, but it was apparent that there was something going on. That much Keith even got while he was almost halfway asleep. 

"Mick…", he tried, but apparently he should leave him be because his words only seemed to anger him. 

"Fuck off", Mick complained, turning towards him and now for the first time Keith could see his bruised cheek. 

"What happened to your face?", Keith wanted to know as Mick simply switched the light back off. 

"It's none of your bloody business", he muttered angrily, pulling back his blanket to lie down himself. 

"Did you get into a fight?", Keith mused, wondering whether Mick had come across some rough guys at a pub.

"Shut up and sleep, will you?", came back his annoyed answer and Keith just sighed, before trying another time to figure out what had happened. 

"Mick?"

"Fuck off", he repeated, turning around in his bed, making it squeak in doing so. 

"Are you okay?", Keith couldn't stop himself from asking, although he was aware that he wouldn't get a reply. 

"Just sleep, alright?", Mick gave back and Keith sighed once more, giving in. Then he pulled his blanket closer around himself, finally trying to get some rest. But of course, the only thing on his mind was sulky Mick and how he got this bloody bruise. 

A few days after Mick had showed up in the middle of the night with a bruised face, not telling him what had happened, Keith was just about to fall asleep, as the door was pushed open. Mick came back from wherever he had been that night, this time not carelessly switching on the light. Keith heard him kick his shoes off and change out of his street clothes. To his surprise, the next thing he noticed, was Mick approaching, the wooden floor creaking underneath his feet. 

"You still awake?", he whispered, coming to a halt right next to Keith's bed.

"Yeah. What's up?", he whispered back, turning around to face him, which obviously didn't make much of a difference in the dark. He could only see the outlines of his face, the damp light from outside making him look oddly eerie. 

"Scoot over", Mick then said, leaning down to lift up Keith's blanket. 

"What? Why?", he replied, confused and a bit dumbfounded. 

"Cause…", Mick only meant, not even trying to reason with him. 

"What's going on?", Keith wanted to know, but Mick didn't reply, only sat down on his bed, before sliding under the blanket with him. 

"Are you drunk? Cause you smell like someone spilled a pint over your head", Keith grumbled, shifting away, figuring it would also explain Mick's behaviour. Never before had he acted like that, lying down in bed with him. Keith didn't even want to pretend that he had the slightest clue what was going on in Mick's head, but whatever it was, it definitely confused him. 

"Naah...maybe a lil…", he got as an answer but Mick didn't sound too drunk, probably just a little tipsy, so maybe someone had actually spilled their drink on him. 

"God, you're so cold…", Keith commented as one of Mick's icy legs brushed his own. 

"Hmm...'s why I figured we'd be warmer together", he mumbled, stifling a jawn. 

"Not if you're that cold", Keith complained and Mick only chuckled in reply as if it was funny. He definitely was a bit tipsy. 

"Couldn't your bird keep you warm tonight?", Keith wanted to know, not managing to keep a little sting out of his voice. He hated the fact that he sounded jealous but he couldn't deny that he was, since lately Mick had only acknowledged him when he had gotten into another row with Franny. 

"We kinda split…", Mick mumbled into the darkness.

"What?", Keith asked as if he hadn't caught it the first time, but he clearly did. 

"Uh, well...maybe we're just on a break?", he explained, but actually it sounded like a question. 

"What happened?", Keith wanted to know, but he wasn't surprised at all, considering all the fighting and disagreement that had been going on between Mick and that girl from the day they first met. 

"She's always arguing...about this and that and then she's being all sweet again. Then even talking about getting married right before we start fighting all over…", Mick told him, sighing anew, as if it was too hard to talk about this. 

"She...she wants to get married?", Keith got out, baffled. This definitely wasn't the reply he had imagined. "Do you?", he added, wondering about Mick's answer. 

"We haven't even been going out for two months...guess it was just...a thought. I don't know...I don't get that girl, Keith…", he grumbled, turning onto his side to face him. His answer didn't sound too certain. At least Keith supposed that if you found the right person to marry, you definitely would know and be sure about it. 

"Why are you fighting all the time?", he inquired because he honestly couldn't understand what their problem was. 

"I don't know...cause she's like that…", Mick muttered. If it was up to Keith, this was a bullshit explanation. For him, there was not really a logical reason as to why Mick was even still keeping up with this. 

"Are you...in love with her?", he wanted to know, hoping Mick wouldn't mind him being too nosy. Usually he wouldn't ask this. He wouldn't ask Brian that question. But with Mick and Franny, he simply couldn't grasp what was keeping them together. 

"She's really pretty...and quite fun when she ain't getting mad about something...I like shagging her...", Mick returned and Keith cut him off because he didn't want to hear any more details his friend might be babbling about while clearly somewhat intoxicated. 

"That wasn't what I asked…", Keith grimaced, obviously Mick couldn't see it in the dark. 

"I cried because of her…", he quietly admitted after a silent moment. "The other night...", he added to clarify. 

"Cause you had another fight?", Keith questioned, wondering why Mick was telling him all of that. It probably was the alcohol speaking, since otherwise they didn't really talk about things like these. 

"Yeah...and cause she hit me...", Mick admitted next, momentarily leaving Keith at a loss for words. He hadn't foreseen this confession at all. 

"That was her?", he got out after a while, clearly sounding astonished. "She punched you in the face?"

"I guess I was an arse, maybe", Mick only offered without getting too precise. 

"Mick…", Keith meant, not sure what to say about all of this. He wanted to tell him to forget about her and that she wasn't worth all the struggle, but he didn't want Mick to get angry with him either. 

"I don't know if I want her back, but I guess…", he whispered and then, to Keith's utter astonishment, started sobbing. 

It was oddly bizarre having a crying Mick lying next to him, grabbing his shirt and clinging onto him. A couple days ago after all, he still had denied that he even was crying, and now this was happening. Probably Mick would blame the alcohol the next morning and Keith would let him. There was nothing else for him to do but to wrap his arms around Mick's slender body, spending him some comfort, not trying to think about how absurd this situation was. Mick, lying in his bed, weeping about wanting back the girl whom he only always was arguing with and who had hit him. Obviously, the less he wanted to muse about it, the more he did, until Keith felt himself getting angry for no apparent reason. He didn't know what exactly had happened between Mick and Franny. Maybe Mick actually deserved it, maybe he truly had been a jerk to her and she had just wanted to put him in his place. Still, he rather felt oddly protective of his friend, hoping Mick would just let this darned relationship go. Wishing he'd find someone else instead who wouldn't always end up fighting with him and wouldn't make him this incredibly unhappy. For a split second, a ludicrous thought crossed his mind and he had no idea at all where it was coming from. In contrast to Mick, he couldn't put the blame on booze, so he banished this imagination again, wishing he could unthink it. Because not even rudimentary was there a reasonable explanation as to why, even for just a single instant, Keith had wanted to be the person who would be able to make Mick happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Franny obviously is inspired by Chrissie Shrimpton. According to Andrew Loog Oldham, her and Mick always were arguing, even already on their first date, and Mick more than once came to him crying about it. It seems like it was a quite toxic relationship for both of them, seeing the way how badly they treated each other and after everything I read about it, it's understandable why Mick would write a song like Under My Thumb about her...
> 
> Also as you might have noticed, the time frame doesn't quite fit with reality...their first actual gig was in July 1962 and Mick Avory was on the drums, not Tony Chapman, but oh well...this is just fiction and creative freedom xD


	4. Can't you tell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :)  
I was so happy to see all the new kudos and comments recently, thank you so much, this really made me incredibly happy, I'm so so glad you're liking this story! Atm I am having a lot of fun writing it, the next chapter is halfway done already...therefore I put working on Far From Perfect on hold for a bit, but just to let you know, I definitely will pick this up again very soon because this story also is very dear to my heart, I'm thinking about it daily and obviously I wanna finish both stories!  
Anyway, hope you're enjoying this new chapter, writing it was amazing and I'm happy how it turned out...

June 1963

Keith had started going out with Hannah a couple of weeks ago. She was beautiful and witty, really smart and also quite hilarious. When she was smiling, adorable dimples formed on her cheeks and her emerald eyes were unfathomable but kind. Obviously, it was her who had chatted him up at the pub they'd been playing at, or otherwise he probably wouldn't even know her name now. They'd spent hours just talking, strolling along the Thames after closing hour, until he had walked her home and she'd pressed a kiss to his cheek when saying goodnight. 

She was his first real girlfriend and he was definitely infatuated. Since he met her, he'd barely spent a thought about the things he kept wrecking his brains before. There was no burning jealousy anymore now when Mick or Brian didn't have time to hang out, because he'd much rather be with Hannah anyway. He loved the way she kept smiling at him when he played her his songs and she even wanted him to teach her something on guitar as well. When they were lucky enough to score another gig, she'd be there up at the front, cheering for him, kissing him sweetly once they stepped off stage. 

There was only one thing slightly bothering him. For some inexplicable reason, Mick didn't seem to get along with Hannah at all. He still was seeing Franny on and off, having their usual quarrels. Keith secretly figured that probably Mick was being jealous now, seeing how beautifully things were going for him and Hannah. All the while Mick regularly ended up being in a horrible mood after yet another argument with Franny. Maybe that's why he couldn't stand Keith's girlfriend, she probably made him realise what was wrong with his own. 

Of course, Hannah wasn't blind and had already asked him what Mick's deal was and why he always seemed so stand-offish and almost outright rude towards her. Keith hadn't been able to give her a proper explanation for this, since he had no idea what was actually going on with his roommate. Usually, Mick wasn't like this at all, he was funny and charming most of the time. He could get quite cocky, either, but Keith had never experienced him being this rude before. Especially not to a girl. In the end, Hannah had even suggested to confront Mick and talk things out. Keith wasn't sure whether it actually would be the best approach to dealing with this, but at least he could try. 

"What's your problem with Hannah, mate?", he wanted to know, one evening as they both were sitting around in their room on their respective beds, Mick practising to play the harp as Brian had recently started teaching him, Keith flicking through some magazine, announcing new bands playing in town. 

"What do you mean?", Mick gave back, dropping his hand which was holding the harp, as if he wasn't aware of what was up, although Keith could tell from his sullen expression that he knew exactly. 

"You're being rude to her for no reason", Keith clarified, taking a drag from the cigarette he had just lighted. 

"She's your girl, it's enough if you're being nice to her. Besides, you aren't that polite towards Franny, either", Mick tried talking himself out of it but Keith figured it was a poor excuse. There was no reason for Mick to treat Hannah like he did. 

"Hannah never did a single bad thing to you", Keith argued because he didn't like his girlfriend being compared to Mick's who rather seemed to be a pain in the neck. 

"Did Franny?", he asked back in a provoking tone and Keith snorted. 

"She hit you", he stated the obvious but Mick didn't seem to care.

"Yeah, not you. I don't need you to be pissed on my behalf", was his snippy reply. Keith honestly didn't have the slightest clue why Mick was behaving like this, all angry and intolerable. 

"Why can't you stand Hannah?", Keith demanded to know, he really didn't understand what Mick's problem with her was. She was one of the kindest and sweetest people he'd ever met, an overall lovely person. 

"I just don't, alright?", he grumbled and Keith started to get annoyed about him being this pissed off for no apparent reason.

"Fine, I cannot fucking stand Franny, either, I never could", he threw at him because he's had enough of whatever Mick was pulling. 

"I know", Mick simply meant, sounding almost matter of factly. 

"Why are you even still with her?", Keith couldn't stop himself from asking because it didn't disclose itself to him. 

"Because…", Mick shrugged, fidgeting around with the harp in his hands almost absent-mindedly.

"What?", he dug deeper, actually curious about the answer. 

"It doesn't matter…", he trailed off, staring at his own hands, apparently musing about something. 

"Fine, suit yourself, mate. I don't care if you wanna be unhappy but I don't", Keith finally concluded and surprisingly, this made Mick turn his attention back at him. 

"I don't want to be either...Franny isn't the reason for me being like this", he gave back, momentarily he nearly sounded sad.

"Then what is?", Keith prompted, watching as Mick's expression hardened. 

"You", he almost spat out this single word like an accusation. 

"Excuse me?", was the only thing Keith could come up with as a reply because he was totally perplexed about hearing this. He definitely hadn't seen this coming and it was utterly upsetting because Keith was fairly certain that he hadn't done anything at all to warrant such a reaction from Mick. 

"You are. Of course, you don't fucking get it…", Mick muttered and it was obvious that he tried hard to come across as angry and annoyed, but he rather sounded disappointed. 

"What am I supposed to get?", Keith inquired, as his mind was racing, trying to come up with something, anything, that would explain Mick's attitude. 

"Nothing, it doesn't matter. Go be with your bird…", he replied, his voice close to breaking as he got up from his bed. 

"Mick…", Keith started because he hated to see him leaving like this, even if he was acting impossibly.

"Fuck off", he only said, his hand already on the doorknob. 

"You're a bloody wanker, you know that?", Keith gave back angrily. Actually he didn't want to fight with Mick, throwing insults at each other like this, not meant in a playful, but a hurtful way, wasn't how he wanted things to be between them. But he simply was so unnerved by Mick's behaviour that he couldn't stop himself. Having this whole argument with Mick was beyond frustrating. There was nothing more Keith wished for than to be able to go back to how things were between them before his friend started acting out like this. 

"Sod off, okay?"

"Not before you tell me what the hell is going on", Keith demanded and for a moment, he thought Mick would finally give in and spill whatever was up with him. 

"There's nothing going on", he said, however, his face blank, but Keith could clearly see his eyes glistening with suppressed tears. 

"That's why you're pissed at me and behaving impossible towards Hannah?"

"There's nothing going on", Mick repeated and with this, he left their room. 

Almost a whole week passed in cold, stubborn silence. Mick didn't even attempt to talk to him and Keith didn't see why he should make the first step, since it was clearly Mick who had went out of line and who needed some explaining to do. However, Keith had spent more time than he should have, trying to figure out what Mick had meant by accusing him to be the reason why he was this insufferable lately. Mick acted like Keith, or Hannah for that matter, had personally insulted him. But he couldn't remember saying or doing anything which could have caused his reaction. 

One Thursday evening, he was sitting in the kitchen with Hannah on his lap and two cups of tea placed on the table in front of them. Both of them were giggling about the story of some weird customer Hannah had to serve at work that day, when the door opened and Mick stepped inside. He only regarded them for a short moment before almost immediately turning around on his heels, pushing the door shut with a loud bang. 

"What's wrong with him?", his girlfriend inquired, sounding quite shocked about Mick's behaviour. 

"No clue…", Keith mumbled, leaning his head on her shoulder. 

"Shouldn't you ask him?", she mused and Keith sighed. 

"Now?", he gave back, all but incredulously, because he could think of nicer things than getting up and going after Mick who probably would only get angry and insult him once more. 

"He's your friend, maybe he's in some trouble?", Hannah though aloud. That was a possibility Keith hadn't considered yet, however, he wondered why Mick didn't simply come talk to him about whatever was troubling him then. After all, he'd told him about the fights with Franny before. Granted, he'd been intoxicated, and maybe being all granty and obnoxious was his coping mechanism when sober. 

"What's going on with you, mate?", Keith asked a short while later, once he had followed Mick into their room. He was lying in his bed, on his belly, face pressed into his pillow, acting like he hadn't noticed Keith entering the room. 

"Nothing", he returned after a moment, almost inaudible because his voice was muffled by the pillow. 

"That's why you just fled the kitchen and banged the door?", Keith had to restrain himself from snorting because this demeanour was absurd. They weren't ten year olds after all. 

Mick only mumbled something unintelligible as a reply. 

"What?", Keith prompted him to repeat, wishing that he'd stop being this silly and finally face him. 

"I hate seeing you with her...", he finally got out and his voice sounded all hoarse. 

"Why? What did she ever do to you?"

"You wouldn't understand…"

"What? Just fucking tell me", Keith requested, stepping closer to Mick's bed, ready to turn him over and pull him up if he didn't finally man up enough to at least look at him while they were talking. 

Instead of answering anything, Mick eventually sat up and Keith could clearly see that he'd been crying. There were trails of tears on his cheeks and his eyes were reddened. 

"Are you okay?", he inquired, more considerate now, thinking about Hannah's words and because he was actually getting worried about him. Mick would probably never admit to it, but Keith now remembered that he had heard him crying the one or other time lately. At night, when he thought that Keith was asleep and wouldn't notice. So far, he hadn't said a word, rather pretended to actually be asleep, because he figured that Mick might even get grumpier when directly confronted. But now, he didn't want to hear some lousy explanation anymore, he needed to know what was up with his friend. Because if he actually was in trouble or something wasn't right with him, then obviously Keith wanted to try and help him. 

"What do you think?", Mick gave back, purely rhetorical, since it was quite obvious that he wasn't alright. 

"You wanna tell me what's going on?", Keith offered, as Mick got up from his bed, pacing around the room, to the window and back again, apparently nervous. 

"I can't…", he only meant, brushing his tears away almost angrily as he came to a halt in front of Keith. 

"Why not?" 

"Because I don't want you to stop being my friend", Mick explained and Keith didn't know what to make of this statement. There weren't a lot of reasons he could come up with that would keep him from staying friends with Mick. Of course, if he continued being this hostile towards Hannah, Keith couldn't tell how he would handle things. He didn't want to lose Mick as his friend, but if he kept behaving like a huge jerk, it wouldn't be tough deciding what to do. 

"But why would I? What happened?", he questioned because he simply didn't understand. 

"Tell me!", he prompted after a moment, as Mick didn't give him an answer.

Instead of replying, Mick approached further, standing so close now that Keith could feel his warm breath on his own skin and the heat radiating off his body. Mick kept his gaze fixed on him, the look in his eyes uncertain, almost afraid, definitely sad. Then he lifted his right hand up to cup Keith's cheek, gracing his earlobe with his index finger in a tender gesture. 

"Mick...what...?", he only got out, his breath catching in his throat because Mick's gentle touch made a shiver run down his spine and he was so perplexed about the whole situation that he couldn't move. 

"Can't you tell?", Mick asked, it was barely more than a whisper, as he kept holding his gaze and Keith was still unable to break away. Mick's hand was warm against his skin and surprisingly soft. At least softer than his own calloused hands which were rough from endless hours of picking his guitar strings. 

"Tell what?", he whispered back, clearing his throat because his mouth had turned all dry for some reason and his voice was raspy. 

"That I'm so bloody jealous of her...I can barely stand seeing you with her...", Mick admitted, sounding pained, and of course it was apparent that he was referring to Hannah. 

"But why would you be jealous of her?", Keith kept on asking, banning the most obvious explanation from his mind because it seemed ludicrous. Mick had no reason for being jealous. He had Franny, even though they were having their ups and downs literally all the time. Why would he be jealous of Hannah then, and not of him? It simply didn't make any sense, unless…  
Keith couldn't even think this thought through to the end because it made his mind spin. 

Mick didn't reply to him this time, he only brought his other hand up to hold his face in between his hands. For a moment, he simply looked at him with a soft expression as he gently brushed one of his thumbs over Keith's cheek. And while Keith nearly lost himself in the clear blue of Mick's eyes, unable to keep thinking straight, he felt his heart race, beating heavily in his chest. He couldn't avert his gaze, couldn't rip himself away from Mick's touch, he was entirely mesmerised by whatever was happening between them. Eventually, Mick pulled him ever closer until their lips were colliding with the other's in a shy, sweet kiss. Feeling Mick moving his lips against his own, Keith's brain ended up having a total blackout while his heart almost skipped a beat, as he was completely unable to do anything but kiss him back. He tasted like his salty tears and something entirely himself that was utterly intoxicating. Apparently encouraged by this reaction, Mick engulfed him in a hungry, an almost desperate kiss, digging a hand into Keith's hair to get him even closer. Keith wasn't as dumbfounded about what was going on as he should have been, he wasn't appalled, didn't want to push Mick away. He couldn't think any of these thoughts because the only sensation he could focus on was feeling Mick's soft lips against his own, their bodies pressed together closely. Still, he was completely overwhelmed, but not because Mick had started kissing him out of the blue and he was disgusted by it. But because he actually wanted this, hadn't even known how badly he wanted this, wanted way more of it. There was an aching in his chest, a yearning that he'd never felt before this strongly and sensing Mick's lips on his, his hands holding him in a tight embrace, was almost knocking him off his feet. It was like he couldn't get enough of him as he returned his kisses, equally desperate, nearly devouring, an arm slung around Mick's shoulders, the other hand dug in his hair. Never before had he kissed anybody like that, with an indescribable longing and unstoppably passionate. Kissing Hannah didn't even come close to what it felt like with Mick. All comparison paled against what he was experiencing while he was completely engulfed in him. His taste was the sole thing he savoured, his hugs and touch the only thing he could sense with every fiber of his body. There was no thought left on his mind except the one how perfect and beautiful and absolutely incredible this felt as he acted on pure instinct, wanting, needing more of this. Eventually they parted, only for a moment, both heavily panting for air, their faces so close that their foreheads were leaning against each other's and their noses were still touching. They kept gazing at each other, eyes wide, hair totally messed up, lips all red and swollen, trying to catch a breath. Then it was Keith who pulled Mick closer once again, needing more of him, kissing him fervidly, almost pushing his tongue into his mouth while grabbing onto him with a desperation as if letting go of him meant forever losing him. 

"I thought you didn't want me…", Mick mumbled against his neck as they eventually broke their kiss and ended up in a tight embrace instead. The emotion in his voice clearly was a mixture between utter astonishment and giddy hopefulness, as he nuzzled his face against Keith's neck, pressing a soft little kiss there, gripping him even tighter. And for a little while, Keith still let it happen, allowed himself to feel Mick this closely, just holding him, because he was afraid of what would happen if he broke out of their embrace. 

"I...I...there's Hannah…", Keith stammered after a moment, as if he only just remembered now, finally ripping himself out of whatever state he'd been in for the past minutes, finally letting go of Mick. He took some steps back as he watched Mick's face fall, the excitement in his expression grumbling. Whatever spell Mick had cast on him now seemed to vanish as quickly as it had come upon him once realisation began to dawn on him. 

"Keith…", he started, but Keith didn't even want to hear whatever Mick's explanation for this was. Whatever this was. He couldn't even look at him. His head was still spinning, but at least he could think more clearly again and he all but wanted to get out of there because it was unbearable being in this room with Mick after what had happened between them. 

"Hannah is waiting for me in the kitchen", is the only thing he could think of saying, his gaze fixed on the floor, because he couldn't stand being this close to Mick for a second longer and needed to get away from him. 

"Keith, please…", Mick tried again, his voice trembling, awfully close to tears, but Keith just grabbed the door handle, fleeing the scene like Mick himself had before, completely overwhelmed by his own feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s. I have never described a kiss in such detail, the whole chapter is about 3k words and 500 of them are just that kiss, I definitely got carried away xD
> 
> also oblivious Keith definitely is my favourite trope to write, just in case you didn't notice so far 😂 (I mean this is inspired by actual Keith writing in his autobiography that he didn't know back then, but thinking about it at the time he wrote the book, he figured in retrospect that Mick was jealous of all of his male friends, lol...)


	5. I know you're feeling it, too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, as always, thanks so so much for reading and your feedback, it makes me so happy knowing you like this story :)  
This new chapter is twice as long as I intended it to be, but oh well...hope you enjoy it!

July 1963

For the next few days, Keith dreaded being alone with Mick. He simply didn't have the guts to face him, or talk to him about what had happened because he hardly could comprehend it himself. All of Mick's recent behaviour completely made sense now, his repressed jealousy disguised as anger and rudeness. However, Keith couldn't understand his own reaction. Before Mick had started kissing him, he'd never even imagined doing this to him, let alone enjoying it, wanting it this much. Thinking back on it, ever since the night that Mick had crawled into his bed drunk, crying to him about Franny, he'd felt a lot of compassion, even tenderness, for him. But he figured it was just because he was sorry for him and not because he was fancying him. He couldn't even tell whether he actually did fancy him. 

On the other hand, there was no other proper way explaining his reaction to Mick's kiss, even after wrecking his brains about it almost night and day. He still didn't understand. If he didn't fancy him, then why had he wanted to kiss him this badly, and why couldn't he stop thinking about it now? Why didn't he ever notice before? Had it taken Mick making this first step for Keith to finally realise? So many questions were constantly swirling around on his mind, but trying to answer any of them only made Keith get all stressed out and nervous. 

Most nights, he stayed over at Hannah's flat that she shared with a friend, but lay wide awake next to her because his mind wouldn't allow him some well needed rest. When he closed his eyes, he saw Mick's face, as clearly as if he was standing right in front of him. His big blue eyes, his sensuous lips, and the tender expression he regarded him with right before he had kissed him. Sometimes he even thought he could still feel Mick's mouth on his own, could still taste him. Then, guilt and shame crept upon him, making him detest himself for not being able to simply forget about it, for longing for Mick instead, for wanting to kiss him, feel him, again. 

It was completely unbearable yearning for him this badly while at the same time loathing his own feelings and desires because he knew it wasn't right. Mick was his mate, and Keith wasn't gay, he had a girlfriend after all. But spending as much time with Hannah as he did, was entirely unnerving as well. He couldn't even look her in the eyes without feeling like a horrible person. There was no way he could tell her, but lying to her made him get incredibly guilty. And obviously, eventually she noticed that something was up with him, wanting to talk it out. 

"Is something not alright, babe?", she questioned him one afternoon, almost a whole week after Mick had kissed him. They were sitting on a bench in Hyde Park, after having decided to go for a walk there. 

"I'm good", he said all short-spoken. 

"It seems that you're always around, but you're not really with me", Hannah summed up her thoughts and Keith hated how accurate her statement was. How could he even have thought for a moment that she wouldn't notice? She was brilliant and amazing and he couldn't feel worse for only having Mick on his mind, when it should be her instead. 

"What do you mean?", he wanted to know even though he knew exactly, just wanted to pretend he had no clue what she was talking about. But of course, he couldn't fool her. 

"What were you just thinking about now?", Hannah asked, giving him a look that made him feel like being interrogated. 

"Nothing much...", he shrugged. Obviously it wasn't true. While sitting next to Hannah watching passers-by, people walking their dogs, children playing, riding their bikes, all he had in mind was Mick. What he might be doing, how he was, if he might be thinking about Keith as well. He clearly was aware that this was completely wrong, that he should ban all these thoughts about Mick from his mind, but he didn't know how to. It seemed the more he tried to forget about what his lips felt like, the more he ended up thinking about it. 

"You can talk to me, you know", his girlfriend prompted, now looking almost concerned for him, which made Keith get even guiltier. 

"There's nothing to talk about", he meant, clenching his jaw, watching a small dog jumping up his owner's legs. 

"You just seem so different lately…", Hannah commented, and Keith had to stifle a sigh. 

"How?", he inquired, wondering if she might be suspecting something. 

"Even quieter...more broody. Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened", he meant, sounding almost stubborn in his reply. 

"Are you fighting with Mick?", she guessed and Keith's heart started beating heavily against his ribs as he slightly turned to face her. 

"What?", he asked, as if he hadn't got her question the first time. Then he ended up cursing himself for getting so agitated that he might as well just have spilled everything to her. 

"You've slept at my place for the last five days...you're avoiding him", she concluded and Keith started shaking his head, too vehemently for it to seem earnest. 

"No, I just...I wanna spend time with you, is all", he explained and it couldn't have been more obvious that he wasn't telling the truth. He absolutely hated himself for being this transparent. 

"Keith…", Hannah started, but he wouldn't have it. 

"What?", he all but snapped at her because he was angry and disappointed with himself, not with her. 

"You're sleeping at my place but you won't even properly touch me. When I kiss you, it's like you don't even want to be around me...what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine", he insisted, balling his hands into fists, as he stared straight ahead, avoiding to catch her eyes while his heart was beating in his throat, making him believe it would jump right out of his mouth, along with the confession of what he had done. 

"You're everything but", she returned and it was almost painful to hear how caring and worried she sounded instead of getting mad at him. He didn't deserve her being like this, he didn't deserve her at all. 

"I gotta go home...I'll see you tomorrow, alright?", he meant, ready to just get up and leave because he couldn't stand outrightly lying to her face for a second longer. 

"Are you mad at me?", she inquired and Keith almost snorted because it was theatrical, he should be asking her that. 

"No, why would I be?" he asked in return and he was completely serious now, there was not a single reason why he would be mad at her. 

"I don't know, you tell me", Hannah returned, holding his gaze, the look in her eyes unfathomable and he had to avert his gaze after a moment because it was unbearable otherwise.

"You didn't do anything wrong, love", he assured her, pressing her hand and pecking her cheek before getting up, starting to walk away from her.

"Keith, wait!", of course, she wouldn't let him leave like that. It would have been too convenient. 

"I gotta be alone, okay?", he said, only walking faster as she caught up with him. 

"Will I see you tomorrow?", she wanted to know and he nodded to himself. 

"Yeah, I told you so", he reminded her, without turning around to her. 

"Keith", Hannah called once more, grabbing him by the arm, pulling him around to face her. 

He was fully prepared to hear her go off about his odd and impossible behaviour, but instead she just closed the gap between them, leaning up to kiss him sweetly. Keith returned her kiss, wishing it would make him feel like it did before Mick had kissed him, but since then, nothing did compare. Nothing even came close to it. It was like he'd tasted a drug and now, no matter what he tried as a substitute, nothing else would get him this high, would make him feel what he felt like with Mick, nothing else would ever do justice. 

After randomly walking through the streets for hours, trying to clear his mind, to quiet down his thoughts, he eventually arrived back at their flat at Edith Grove. It was almost completely dark outside and as Keith stepped into the flat, it seemed like nobody else was home. Probably Mick and Brian were out at some party, or out with some girls. However, as he opened the door to the bedroom he shared with Mick, he was almost surprised to find him lying in his bed, alone in the dark, just staring at the ceiling.

"Hi", he said, sounding astonished, as he turned the lights on. 

"Hi", Mick gave back, his head bedded on his arms, still dressed in his street clothes. 

"I didn't think you were home", Keith admitted as he kicked his shoes off. 

"That why you came back now? Cause you thought I wasn't around?", Mick asked provokingly, but didn't sound daring, only hurt. 

"No, I…", he began, but didn't make it far before Mick interjected.

"Can we talk?", he wanted to know, understandably, but Keith was dreading it. He simply didn't know what to tell him, didn't even know what to tell himself. 

"There's nothing to talk about", he gave back, deciding whether to simply put his shoes back on and go back outside for another while, as Mick sat up on his bed. 

"Keith…", Mick tried, this time it was Keith who disrupted him. 

"No, Mick...whatever this was…", Keith started to deflect, but Mick didn't let him. Instead, he got up, coming to a halt right in front of him. Keith felt oddly reminded of that time about a week ago where they'd been in a similar position before Mick had started kissing him and he got all nervous just thinking about it. 

"I know you wanted it too. You felt it too, I know you did", he returned, sounding almost pleading, the emotion in his eyes was clearly disappointment. 

"What do you want?", Keith asked, not sure what else to do or say as he tried to keep his voice from trembling with nerves. 

"I want you...I want you so badly that I'm hurting all the time and sometimes I cannot even breathe properly. I've never wanted anybody like I want you…", Mick admitted, his bottom lip quivering and Keith could tell that he was awfully close to tearing up. 

"I cannot, we cannot do that...", is all he got out because he didn't know in the slightest how to deal with Mick's confession. 

"But I need you, Keith, I want to be with you", he all but begged, grabbing his arm. 

"Mick…", Keith started, still not sure what to reply, just standing there, dumbfounded by what he had just heard. 

"Please…", Mick meant, now actually with tears shining in his eyes as he started trailing his fingers over Keith's arm. That simple touch alone almost was enough to make him feel light headed and it was hard to come up with anything to answer at all. 

"What do you want me to say?", Keith eventually asked, not able to rip himself away from Mick and his touch. 

"You don't need to say anything", Mick shrugged but it was obvious to Keith that this wasn't the answer he had been hoping for. 

"Then what the hell do you want?", his voice wasn't harsh as he would have liked it to be, on the contrary, he sounded insecure, hurt. 

Mick didn't give anything back this time, instead he grabbed Keith by the lapels of his light jacket, capturing his lips in a longing, a heated kiss. As much as Keith would have loved to push him away, yell at him to stop this, or simply run out of the room, he couldn't get himself to do any of it. There was absolutely no logical explanation to why he was that much captivated by Mick, almost intoxicated, like under a spell. It seemed that every time Mick came too close to him, his brain short-wired and all he could still do was reacting to some primal instinct that was his sole impulse. That's why he ended up kissing him back with an unspeakable desperation, one hand at the back of Mick's head, bringing him closer, as they were almost tumbling due to the shere impact of their bodies colliding, melting together in nearly perfect unison. 

"See…", Mick only breathed out heavily, after what could have been both, mere seconds or endless minutes of their lips being glued to each other's. "I know you're feeling it, too…", he quietly added, his face still so close to Keith's that his warm breath was brushing his skin, clouding his thoughts in haze. 

"What are we doing?", Keith whispered, not able to let go of Mick. He had his arms wrapped around him, holding him in a tight embrace, their foreheads pressed together as his heart was racing and all he wanted was to taste Mick's lips yet again, get more of him. 

"Tell me you don't want me", Mick prompted him, it sounded challenging. 

"What about Hannah?", Keith returned in order to not have to directly answer to him. There was no reply needed, because they both were clearly aware that Mick was right. Obviously, Keith felt it too, whatever this was. This longing pull in his chest which seemed to want to bring him ever closer to Mick. This desperate yearning to feel and touch and taste him, more of him, all of him. 

"Do you love her?", Mick quietly asked, stepping away a little to better look at him, waiting for his answer all but curiously. 

"I couldn't keep my mind off you this whole week...I couldn't stop thinking about kissing you...", Keith admitted, feeling himself blush, as yet again he didn't reply to Mick's initial question but still gave him his answer. 

"Neither could I", Mick confessed, he sounded flustered as well and the look he regarded Keith with was full of adoration. 

"What about Franny?", Keith added before Mick could say anything else. 

"It's over…", Mick shrugged as if he didn't really care. Maybe he didn't. For a moment, they wordlessly kept glancing at each other, Keith taking in the sight of Mick with his messed up hair, his full lips even more prominent now that they were swollen from their heavy kisses. And while standing pressed up closely in their shabby room, for the first time ever, Keith figured how beautiful Mick was. He'd always looked at him, watching him try to play the harp, enjoying the way he moved around on these tiny stages they were playing on, mirroring his giddy smile when they were fooling around, coming up with some dumb shit. But just now, in the damp light of the ceiling lamp, it was like he was truly seeing him for the very first time since he'd known him. And he was absolutely gorgeous. 

"Keith...I think I'm falling in love with you…", Mick whispered after a while that he'd mustered him as well, eyes wandering over his features while the tip of his thumb was gently brushing over Keith's skin. It took him an instant to fully comprehend the words that had just left Mick's mouth, but when he did, it rendered him speechless at first. 

"You know we cannot...this is illegal, Mick", was the only thing he could get out after some moments, resting his own hand over Mick's that was cupping his cheek as he averted his gaze. 

"Who cares? Nobody knows", he gave back as if he really didn't care about what anyone else might be thinking. "You don't need to be afraid...we can figure this out. It's nobody's business but ours", he added, trying to persuade him but Keith couldn't think clearly. 

"You're feeling it too, don't you?", Mick repeated, carefully lifting up Keith's chin with his hand so that he had to face him again. 

Keith felt beyond ashamed for wanting to be touched by Mick this badly that he ended up leaning into his hand which was cupping his cheek. But still, the only thing he could do was nod in reply.

"Then that's all that matters", Mick decided, a cute little smile spreading across his face and Keith couldn't stop himself from returning it. 

"For how long?", he quietly asked then. 

"What?", Mick looked at him in confusion. 

"How long have you...when did you start feeling about me like that?", Keith clarified. 

"When things started going so shittily with Franny...maybe even before that. I just...I ended up having to think about you all the time...especially after I told you about Franny that one night", Mick let him know, not able to keep his hands off him as he continued trailing his fingertips over Keith's cheekbones, his earlobes, ghosting across his lips while Keith was completely mesmerised by his soft touch. 

"You remember all that?", he whispered, his mouth all dry. 

"I wasn't that drunk...and you were being so sweet to me, protective. I really liked the way that being held by you made me feel like...and then I couldn't stop thinking about it, about you...I just wanted to be held by you again like that", Mick confessed, his cheeks turning pink as he slowly kept combing his fingers through Keith's hair. 

"Come here", Keith simply meant, embracing him a bit closer before he proceeded to lay them both down onto his bed, Mick rested his head against his shoulder, nuzzling his face against it. Draping an arm over his chest, he let out a small, content sigh that made Keith smile lightly. 

"Like this?", he murmured, wrapping his arms a little tighter around Mick, completely amazed by the way their bodies fit together so perfectly, almost as if they were made to be holding each other like that. 

"Yeah", Mick mumbled and Keith could clearly hear the smile in his voice. For some moments, he allowed himself and Mick to revel in comfortable silence, while he started noticing all the small details about their position. Like the way Mick's legs were entangled with his own, or how his body was pressed up against his own so closely that he could sense Mick's heartbeat, or how his skin started prickling underneath his t-shirt where Mick was drawing little patterns with his fingers. 

"What are we gonna do?", he eventually broke their silence because his mind wouldn't stop from making him freak out about what was going on between them, even though it felt close to perfection. 

"I want to be with you", Mick repeated with a certainty that made it sound like it was the only thing he was completely sure of in his entire life. 

"Mick…we can't", he opposed, all the reasons why this was utterly wrong running through his mind as he dropped one of his arms that were enclosing Mick. 

"Why not?", he meant, lifting his head off Keith's shoulder to be able to look at him. 

"I'm not gay, Mick", he started with what scared and confused him the most. All his life he'd always figured girls pretty, had always fancied them. He really liked Hannah, enjoyed being with her, thought she was amazing and lovely and beautiful. Still, it was completely odd and inexplicable why he'd be that much attracted to Mick then. Up to a point where he couldn't get him off his mind anymore, even when he was with Hannah, and where he was almost desperate to feel his touch. 

"Neither am I", Mick replied, without blinking an eye and Keith almost snorted. 

"Well, then what the fuck is this?", he all but demanded to know, because he didn't understand, it was confusing beyond means. 

"It's between you and I, Keith. For me, it's just you. There's no one else...but you", Mick explained, his voice soft and the look in his eyes incredibly earnest. 

"I...I don't understand?", he stammered, trying to follow his train of thoughts. 

"It's not about you being a lad...it's about you...being you. I want you, Keith, no one else", Mick clarified, regarding him with an intense look as he let his hand rest on Keith's chest. 

"Did you even think that through? What are we supposed to tell everyone? Brian, the other lads...my mum? What about Hannah?", Keith came up with, not understanding how Mick could simply disregard all the other people in their lives. 

"Nobody needs to know", Mick said, but Keith shook his head at that almost vehemently. It was a ludicrous idea that would never work out anyway.

"I don't wanna play hide and pretend with everyone I know...wait, is that why you stayed with Franny?"

"No...I thought if I just...if I had her then in the end I'd stop always having to think about you…Didn't really work out, though…", Mick told him, sighing in frustration.

"I don't know what to do...", Keith returned, sighing as well because this whole situation was utterly frustrating. How could a single kiss have the power to make him question everything he believed in and throw over his entire life like that? Never before had he even considered the possibility of wanting to be more than just friends with Mick. And now they were discussing about being together, because they both could neither ignore nor escape the force that kept pulling them towards each other like two oppositely poled magnets. 

"Can't we keep this just between us for a while?", Mick suggested, apparently trying to come up with anything that seemed fairly reasonable. "At least let us try?" 

"How are you imagining this, Mick?", Keith wanted to know because he couldn't see how any of that could be working out. There seemed to be too many obstacles. He had a girlfriend who obviously loved him, there was no way he could ever explain to his parents that he was fancying another bloke, and also it was legally prohibited for two lads being together. 

"What do you mean?", he asked back as if he didn't see any problems at all. 

"I'll just be lying to Hannah, pretending that everything's okay, when I cannot even look at her because all I gotta think about is you?", Keith meant, getting out the most pressing matter, not managing to keep an angry snide out of his voice because he was so insecure about everything going on. He wasn't mad at Mick, though, he was annoyed with himself and this extremely unsatisfying situation. 

"Then break up with her", was Mick's suggestion. Out of his mouth, this suggestion sounded this simple but to Keith it rather seemed like a giant hurdle he could never take. Not to even mention facing all the other consequences. 

"What do I tell her? I cannot tell her it's because of you...and my mum, my dad, what do I tell them? Mum really likes Hannah...", Keith meant, feeling himself panicking a little. Mick seemed to realise, because he only hugged him tighter, gently running his hand over Keith's chest. 

"We'll figure something out, I know we will…", he assured him, sounding so convinced as if he already had found a solution. For some moments, Keith let himself get carried away by the tender way Mick touched him, allowing himself to imagine what it would be like to always experience this, how actually being with Mick would turn out like. Eventually he had to stop himself from getting lost in fabulous day dreams because deep down he doubted that things could ever work out as perfectly between them as pictured in his imagination. Still, the knowledge of what it felt like and the taste of what could be, was too strong to simply ignore again. 

Also Mick's reassurance and optimism actually had helped him calming down a bit and Keith only hummed a reply because he didn't want to drift off into more discussion. Then he pulled Mick closer against his side, engulfing him in his arms again, as Mick turned his head to press his lips against Keith's neck, making him smile. There was no way that something feeling as incredibly perfect as this could ever be wrong.


	6. It's just daydreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :)  
thank you all so much, as always, every new kudo or comment makes me smile :)  
I think there'll be one more chapter set in 1963 and then there'll be some time jump, let's see...  
Also in case any of you is reading Far From Perfect and was wondering about the next update, don't worry, I haven't abandoned the story, actually I have already finished parts of the 10th chapter, so I hope to soon be able to update it again!

August 1963

It had taken Keith weeks to come to terms with the way he felt about Mick and the way he felt about Hannah. Mick was aware that he'd tried staying with her, really tried, but in the end, things between them had turned out similarly to what it had been like with himself and Franny. Even if Keith's approach of figuring out what he actually wanted had hurt him a lot, obviously he'd let him. For over a month, Mick had to watch Keith attempting to patch together a relationship he couldn't even tell he still wanted. Meanwhile, he had to stand at the sidelines, pining for him all over again. Even despite knowing in the depths of his heart that the only reason Keith was clinging on to his girlfriend was that he was too afraid to give in to his true feelings. Mick knew he hadn't just been imagining things, Keith more or less had already admitted how he felt about him. But the only thing he had been able to do was to give Keith the time and space he needed, had waited for him to finally allow himself to realise and accept what he wanted. And eventually, after days and weeks dragging along endlessly, after much desperate hoping and wishing, Keith had finally told him that he'd be breaking up with Hannah because he couldn't stand how things were any longer. Because the way things were, they all ended up hurting. 

"How did she take it?", Mick inquired almost as soon as Keith had stepped foot inside their flat. He'd just returned from Hannah's place after he wanted to talk to her, end things. 

"I didn't break it off", Keith murmurmed, not looking at him as he stepped out of his shoes. 

"Why not?", Mick wanted to know, his heart contracting almost painfully as Keith continued to keep his eyes averted. 

"Keith...what happened?", he asked, not able to hide the concerned tone in his voice, as Keith didn't reply to him but simply walked past him into the kitchen. There, he opened one of the cabinets, the one where they'd stashed some whiskey, grabbing it to take a sip straight out of the bottle.

"What are you doing?", Mick regarded him with increasing worry, as Keith let himself drop onto one of the kitchen chairs, bottle of whiskey still in his hand. 

"I cannot leave her now…", he muttered, his gaze fixed on the bottle in his hands and only now Mick noticed the tears staining his voice. 

"Keith, what's wrong?", he questioned, stepping closer towards him, reaching out a hand to rest on his upper arm but Keith shrugged him off. This simple gesture was more hurtful to Mick than a blow to his face with Keith's bare knuckled hands would have been and he started worrying even more. 

"She...she told me she...she might be pregnant", Keith got out, choked by a sob, as Mick literally felt his heart dropping into his stomach. 

While he was struggling to keep breathing properly, he couldn't find anything to reply to these news. All he could do was stare at Keith, unable to come up with anything, like he'd lost his ability to form words. He even opened his mouth a few times, trying to get something out, but there wasn't anything he could say. 

"How...how sure is she?", he eventually managed after what felt like an eternity of Mick standing in the middle of their kitchen, completely dumbfounded, and Keith silently crying. 

"She bought a test…", Keith gave back, his voice all rapsy. 

"Do you...do you want this?", Mick asked for lack of anything better to come up with. 

It appeared like he was having a nightmare he couldn't wake up from. A few minutes ago, he'd eagerly awaited Keith's return, in the hopes that he'd finally ended things with Hannah. And now he was telling him this. It was like making up a worst case scenario of things that could go wrong, just to multiply it by ten in the end. 

"There is not much I can do now, is there?…", Keith mumbled, taking another gulp of whiskey, apparently to calm himself down. 

"So...you just wanna play home now?", Mick wanted to know, his tone somewhere between deeply hurt and angry, as he unsuccessfully tried to wrap his head around what was going on. For a split second he hoped that everything was just a really poor joke that someone had forgotten to tell him about. 

"Well...if she's having my kid, then yes, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna leave her alone in this", Keith returned as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"You wanna marry her, or what?", Mick asked, hating how shrill his voice sounded and that his eyes started to get blurry with tears. 

"If that's what she wants...", Keith mumbled, his gaze fixed on the bottle on the table in front of him. 

"But what do you want?", he needed to know, wishing Keith would just look at him instead. 

"It's not about what I want anymore…", Keith gave back, sighing, starting to nestle around on the tag of the bottle. He sounded utterly resigned.

"What about us?", Mick eventually dared to ask after a moment where he'd just watched Keith fumbling around with the bottle, before taking yet another sip. 

"You know it's just daydreaming...we couldn't be together properly...not like I can be with Hannah", he replied, his voice choked by tears. This was when Mick truly realised that Keith didn't actually want Hannah. That what was happening right there was completely insane but there seemed no way escaping. 

"And cause you want to be with her that badly is why you're bawling and drinking whiskey from the bottle?", Mick gave back snappily, but he was deeply hurt. As a tear ran down his cheek, he angrily brushed it away. 

"So...this is it, then?", he asked, as Keith didn't reply anything for a moment. He didn't want to believe that what was between them had to be over before it had even properly began. 

"I'm so sorry, Mick…", Keith whispered, finally lifting his gaze. The worst thing about Keith looking at him like this, eyes full of tears and repressed emotions, was that it gave away how he was actually feeling. And this knowledge almost hurt more than everything Keith said so far.

"I cannot even begin to tell you how much I'm hating you right now…", Mick gave back, not able to hold his own tears back any longer. 

"Mick...it's the right thing to do and you know it. I cannot just leave her now", Keith tried to persuade him but Mick had the impression that he also tried persuading himself. Especially as he added his next words: "My mum really likes Hannah...I guess...getting married would be the proper way…"

"So, you're just gonna marry some girl you don't even love and then pretend to play happy family for the rest of your bloody life?", was his passive-aggressive answer because he still couldn't believe a word of what was coming out of Keith's mouth. If it wasn't such a delicate matter, it would be utterly comical. 

"I won't let her raise our child by herself", Keith countered and Mick all but snorted. In his eyes, Keith was just a boy himself, they both were. He knew him, knew how impossibly silly and reckless and amazingly dumb he could be. But he loved all of this about him, even if sometimes Keith was annoying the hell out of him. 

"I hate that you're such a good and proper bloke...and I bloody hate that I'm so much in love with you that it hurts…", he started crying even harder now, sinking down on the floor to lean against the kitchen cabinet because his legs were shaking so badly. 

"Mick…", Keith was kneeling down next to him without him even having noticed that he had gotten up from his chair. 

"Don't bloody touch me!", he snarled as Keith stretched out a hand to press his shoulder. 

"Mick, come on…", Keith tried, but it only made Mick get angrier in his hurt and desperation. 

"Piss off, man! I guess you can go looking for your own bloody flat now, can't you? And a proper job too?", he jabbed at him because it was the only way he could deal without having a complete breakdown over the fact that he would be losing him. 

"Mick, please…", Keith started anew. He didn't sound mad about Mick's blow, but instead rather disappointed. 

"I don't fucking want to hear you or see you...fuck off", Mick got out as he dragged himself up off the floor, ready to leave, since Keith apparently wouldn't. 

"Mick, wait…", Keith grabbed him by the arm, as he'd already reached the kitchen door. 

"Leave me alone!", he yelled at him, ripping his arm out of Keith's grip just to push open the door. 

"But I'm in love with you", Keith silently admitted, almost sheepishly, Mick having his back turned towards him, already halfway through the door. 

"It doesn't matter anymore now, does it?", he spat at him, purely rhetorically, before slamming the door shut behind himself and running downstairs, heart broken, hot tears wetting his cheeks.


	7. I missed you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :)  
here's the next chapter, thanks a lot for reading, hope you enjoy!
> 
> p.s. I was thinking about the further progression of this story and outlined what will happen in each chapter, there will be 11 more to come, just fyi ;)

September 1963

"Mick!", Keith was knocking on the door of the bedroom they had shared for so many months and that Mick currently had locked himself into.

At least it had been their room, until that day about three weeks ago when Keith came back home, not able to tell him that he had broken up with Hannah, but instead had to confess to him that he'd apparently gotten her pregnant. It was more than obvious that he'd broken Mick's heart by informing him about his decision to do the right thing for the baby and stay with Hannah. Keith was painfully aware of this. He'd barely slept or eaten anything in days, the thoughts on his mind restlessly swirling around and his ambivalent feelings nearly driving him insane. 

There had been utter shock at first, a whole wave of powerlessness overcoming him when he had learned about Hannah apparently expecting his child. Mick had been absolutely right to ask him if he wanted this, because truth be told, Keith didn't want any of it. He wasn't sure if he could handle it, becoming a father at such a young age, getting married, actually raising a kid, making a living for a family. Never before he'd even considered any of that, had never cared about these prospects so far. It was something to think about for the future, but not for when he wasn't even twenty years old and he cursed himself for being this careless and naïve. 

After the initial paralysis had left him, the only things he could think about were: what about Hannah and the baby, and what about Mick? He truly liked Hannah, she was a fantastic, a wonderful person and it was clear to him that he couldn't just leave her alone in this. That he'd need to stay and take responsibility because he really cared about what would become of her. But he wasn't actually in love with her, or otherwise he wouldn't have considered breaking up with her in the first place. 

She was beautiful and lovely and kind and he was absolutely certain that she'd be an amazing mother. But she didn't even come close in the slightest to making him feel the way Mick did. When she was smiling at him, there was no warm and fuzzy feeling swelling in his chest, there was no pleasant shiver running down his spine in anticipation of her touch, his heart didn't race at a hundred miles an hour when she kissed him. With Hannah, everything was just pleasantly nice. But Mick managed to completely sweep him off his feet, he was the first thought on his mind in the morning and the last before Keith fell asleep. There was no way to keep him out of his head, no forgetting about what it felt like kissing him, lying in bed together, holding him. There was no way to simply make the aching in his chest go away and the longing for him any less painful. 

"Sod off…", Mick grumbled through the locked door and Keith couldn't even be miffed about him reacting in this way. 

Obviously, Mick wouldn't want to see him or have anything to do with him, Keith could totally comprehend that. However, there was something he absolutely needed Mick to know. Because for Keith, this new piece of information had changed everything. And he hoped that it would make Mick reconsider as well. Of course he understood, he knew that he had awfully hurt him, but Keith himself had been hurting too these past weeks. All he had been able to think of was that he wanted to be with him so badly, but he was aware that he couldn't have him, because he couldn't do this to Hannah. That he had to put what he needed to do before what he desired because it was his responsibility. Now, however, the tables had turned about one hundred and eighty degrees and Mick needed to know. 

"Mick, we need to talk...", he tried to persuade him to open up the door. 

"I don't wanna talk to you", Mick replied, stubborn in his hurt and Keith thought that probably he'd react the very same way if their roles were reversed. 

"Mick it's been three weeks...", Keith informed him because this whole time had appeared endlessly long. Every day he'd missed being able to see him or talk to him, he'd been missing him so badly. 

"And? Fuck off!", Mick yelled and Keith sighed in response, trying to figure out what else he could do to finally make Mick want to talk to him. Or at least hear him out.

"Hannah isn't pregnant", he spilled the news, telling them to the door instead to Mick's face since he still hadn't opened up for him. "It was a false test result", he added and then almost fell into the room as Mick pulled the door open completely unexpectedly. 

"What?", Mick stared at him slightly open mouthed, his eyes wide in utter disbelief. 

It was the first time in weeks that Keith had seen Mick and he looked absolutely miserable. He was wearing tracksuit trousers and a stained t-shirt, his hair was greasy and dishevelled and he hadn't shaved in days. Never before had Keith seen him like this, all pathetic and depressed, not even when he'd had all that trouble with Frannie. 

"She went to the doctor...he said there's nothing", Keith quietly explained, not able to look Mick in the eye. He felt horrible about the state he was in because it was obvious that Keith had caused his misery. 

"So….", Mick started, just leaving his unfinished sentence hanging in the air, apparently at a loss for words. 

"There's no baby", Keith confirmed and only as he spoke these words, he felt that a heavy burden was finally lifted off his shoulders. He probably could never have handled it. Having to take care of a family in his current situation. Obviously, he would have tried, but he wasn't sure yet if he actually could have managed, he didn't even have a stable job after all. Only now that it all was out of the question anyway, he felt that he could finally breathe again. 

"What does that mean? You still wanted to stay with her!", Mick all but accused him before Keith could as much as ask him if he was okay. 

"Because of the baby, Mick", he tried to explain and given how badly Mick seemed to be doing, it felt like a weak excuse now. He'd been painfully aware about the fact that he'd probably caused Mick a lot of hurt and heartbreak. But he never thought that he'd be handling it this poorly. Keith himself had barely eaten in recent days, but Mick's cheeks appeared hollow, like he'd been starved, he seemed drenched off his liveliness. 

"You still chose her", Mick pointed out, his obvious hurt was not only audible in his voice, but also recognisable in his eyes, as Keith could see once he finally lifted his gaze. 

"Yeah because of the bloody baby...that doesn't even exist", Keith argued, cursing himself for jumping right into this discussion instead of simply making sure that Mick was alright. Because he looked far from it. 

"You chose her!", Mick reminded him, he didn't sound angry, though, just incredibly sad. 

"I didn't…", Keith started, ready to explain everything, but Mick disrupted him. 

"You bloody well did!"

"I don't love her", Keith claimed, hoping Mick would understand it this way. 

"You didn't want to be with me", he threw back at him, though, tears shining in his eyes. 

"That's not true", Keith gave back, sheepishly because he hated having to see Mick like this and knowing it was all his fault.

"Prove it", Mick said, daring him but his voice wasn't challenging, it was stained with suppressed tears. 

"What do you want me to do?", Keith asked almost helplessly, not sure what else to return. At this point he'd do about anything just to make things right again between them. 

"Break up with her", Mick demanded and Keith felt great relief at this request. 

"I already did", he simply meant, astounding Mick. 

"You ...you did?"

"I told you ...I'm not in love with her", he pointed out once more. 

"How...did she take it?", Mick wanted to know. 

"Surprisingly well, actually...she said she thinks it's the best for us anyway...after everything that happened. And she meant that...she knew that I didn't really want this anyway…", Keith mumbled, somewhat abashed. He felt sorry for Hannah because she didn't deserve to be left like this. On the other hand, she deserved to be with someone who actually loved her and not just someone who would have stayed out of a sense of duty. 

"Did you?"

"I told you...I'd have stayed for the baby, but…", Keith returned, trailing off in the end, trying to search for the right words. 

"But?", Mick prompted him to go on.

"I never wanted any of this...I didn't mean to hurt you and I'm so sorry I did…", he finally got to apologise even though he felt it was by far not enough to make any of what happened alright again. 

"Well, but you did…", Mick muttered, sounding defeated and Keith knew he had to do better than that. 

"I know...I'm so sorry, Mick...tell me what to do to make this right?", he asked almost desperate. 

"You left her?", Mick assured himself. 

"I did...I missed you so badly…", Keith admitted, biting his lip as he observed how Mick's expression softened. 

"Does this mean...what does this mean?", he wanted to know, just to make sure. 

"I want to be with you, Mick. You're everything I could think of...", Keith told him, not leaving room for any misunderstandings. 

"You mean this for real?", Mick asked in astonishment, gazing at him out of wide eyes as if he couldn't believe Keith's words. 

"Of course, I do. I'm so much in love with you…", he meant, feeling himself blush as he smiled at him lightly. Mick only kept staring at him, apparently rendered speechless. 

"Will you give me another shot at this? Getting it right this time?", Keith questioned after a moment as Mick still didn't give him an answer yet. His heart was heavily beating against his chest in nervosity, anticipating Mick's reaction upon his prior confession. 

"Okay", he simply agreed then, a tiny smile tugging at his lips.

"Yeah?", Keith asked, not able to hide his relief and excitement. 

"Yeah", Mick affirmed, grinning at him almost giddily and Keith couldn't help himself but to pull him into a close embrace that Mick gladly returned. 

"How are you?", he whispered, mouth close to Mick's ear, hugging him so tightly as if they hadn't seen each other in at least a year. 

"I've missed you too...so badly", Mick confessed and it was apparent from his muffled voice that he'd started crying. 

"I'm really so sorry", Keith repeated, hugging him even tighter as he ran a hand over his back in a calming manner. "I didn't want to make you feel like you're just my second choice...because you're not…"

"What am I then, your third choice?", Mick tried to joke but from his tear choked voice it was apparent that he was still a little insecure about how things were between them.

"No...you're the only", Keith confirmed and then turned his head to meet Mick's lips in a sweet kiss, willing to prove to him that he'd meant every word he said.


	8. Moving in together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :)  
Finally I managed to write this new chapter. I only got around to it because I had so many ideas for new stories that I had to get one of them out of my head first :D I cannot post that new story yet, however, because it's (what a surprise xD) yet another sequel to Ever Since that Night and there are still some parts missing between the last sequel and that new one that I'll have to write next ;D
> 
> I know this maybe feels a little like a filler chapter but I wanted to try something else for a change and write a chapter without any clear PoV...hope you still enjoy it!

July 1964

They'd finally finished moving everything into their new flat. It had taken them a few months finding something suitable that they could afford, but eventually they'd got a nice two room flat in Kensington not too far away from the one they'd shared with Brian. 

Now that Mick had graduated from university, due to the valuable connections he had made during an internship for the BBC, he'd actually scored a job as a reporter for a music magazine. The salary wasn't overwhelming but it was sufficient and above all, the work was fun: writing reviews about records, going to gigs of small groups and sometimes even a little more popular bands, reporting about them. With Keith teaching private music lessons whenever he could get hired, they actually had enough to pay rent for their new place. Finally, they could afford heating and also didn't have to shoplift any longer. Plus, the new flat was way nicer than the one at Edith Grove, it was lighter, cleaner and they even had their own bathroom with a bathtub. 

Mick and Keith had barely been able to await finally having their own place together. Not that it hadn't been a blast living with Brian, jamming whenever they wanted to until the middle of the night, fooling around, doing silly stuff. But now they didn't need to be freaked out anymore about their flatmate accidentally walking in on something that wasn't meant for his eyes. Obviously, it hadn't taken Brian long to figure out what was going on between the two of them once they'd actually started being together about ten months ago. Of course, they'd tried keeping things subtle, not knowing how their mates might react. But it hadn't even been two weeks of them secretly dating when Brian found them in the kitchen one morning, stealing little kisses during a meagre breakfast.

He'd stared at them, shocked for a moment, as if he'd encountered ghosts or aliens instead of his flatmates. But before either one of them could even begin explaining, Brian had already started laughing his arse off, snorting, while he muttered something that awfully sounded like "I always knew". Obviously, afterwards Brian hadn't been able to restrain himself from making some immature comments, but all in good humour and without bad intention. 

Even though living with Brian had been fun and even though luckily none of their mates gave them shit for being together, it still was a luxury ultimately having their own place. They had a quite spacy living room to invite their friends to for jamming or just hanging out, listening to records. Their bedroom was the smaller one of the two rooms, but it had a balcony. And finally they could get a bed to share together that was big enough for them to actually comfortably sleep in. 

"Getting to live with you in this flat is the best birthday gift I could have hoped for, babe", Mick commented as they could finally sit down on their couch, each with a bottle of beer. Brian and Charlie, their new drummer in the band, had helped them carrying all the furniture upstairs the day before. But then it had taken them another while to furnish everything, put all their belongings into closets and cupboards, arranging records and pictures. 

"It's not even your birthday yet", Keith returned, chuckling, then taking a sip from his beer. 

"Still...it's this Thursday", Mick pointed out with a lopsided grin before sliding closer to Keith on the couch, leaning his head against his shoulder as Keith draped an arm around him. "Hmm...this feels so good", he murmured contently, making Keith smile. 

"Let me take you out for dinner then?", he suggested, taking Mick's hand to interlace their fingers. 

"I'd love that, baby", Mick mirrored his smile, nuzzling against him, enjoying his closeness as he pressed Keith's hand in reassurance.

"Of course", Keith mumbled in reply. "It's your birthday." 

"And I can also think of something really nice to do for desert", Mick smirked, his voice clearly suggestive as he pressed a little kiss against Keith's neck. 

"Yeah?", Keith returned in question, but as he sat back to look at Mick, there was a knowing little smile on his face. 

"Yeah", he agreed, grinning widely, leaning over to whisper into his ear what exactly he had in mind. 

"You don't have to wait till Thursday for that, you know", Keith gave back with a toothy smile, before pulling Mick closer to capture his lips in a longing kiss.


	9. Dog Walking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,   
it's me again already :D surprisingly, I was very inspired to write last night even though I was pretty tired (and now I'm sick so probably I rather should have gotten some sleep...) so I thought I'd give you the next short and sweet chapter already :) it was fun writing and the idea of them adopting a dog together is just soo cute...enjoy reading!

"What about this one? He's adorable!", Keith gushed as they came to a halt in front of a cage with a small mutt inside. Its fur was all black, save for the snout and right forepaw which were white. A sign stuck to the door of the kennel let them know that the dog's name was Buster. 

"He really is a sweet one!", Mick approved, a wide smile on his face as he observed Keith who was already leaning down, lightly talking to the dog, trying to pet him through the iron bars. 

Getting a dog had been Keith's idea. He'd always loved them and told Mick that he wanted one ever since he was a child. But his parents never would allow him to have one because they weren't particularly fond of dogs. Mick right away liked the idea of getting a pet, but once he realised how happy Keith got when he agreed on adopting a dog, Mick grew even more excited about that prospect as well. Mainly he loved when Keith got all exhilarated, and giddy like a little kid, it was completely endearing. Seeing him like this made his heart swell in adoration. 

"Can we take him out for a walk?", Keith asked the woman working for the shelter who accompanied them around. 

"Sure, just let me get a leash for you", she meant before disappearing for a moment in order to fetch one.

"That's the one for us, baby, I know it", Keith told him all eager as Mick put a hand out between the bars to pet the small dog's head. 

"He's totally adorable", Mick replied as the dog started licking his hand. "You're a good boy, Buster, yes you are", he added towards the dog, chuckling lightly. He really was a cute dog.

Once the woman from the animal shelter came back with a leash, she opened the door to the kennel and they were allowed to properly pet the dog. He got extremely excited, wagging his tail, jumping up Keith's legs. 

"Yeah, we're going for a walk now, boy", he said to the dog as he put the leash on him.

For almost an hour they strolled through a nearby park, Buster jumping around, apparently happy to finally be freed of the kennel. Watching the little dog romping about and Keith running around with him all giddy with excitement, made Mick feel incredibly cheerful as well. Keith and him had been together for a bit longer than five years now, which was quite a long time, considering that they both only were in their mid-twenties. Sometimes, Mick mused that if he had ended up with some girl instead, probably he would already have asked her to marry him by now. Maybe he'd already be a father even. Obviously, he couldn't have that with Keith, they'd never be able to get married because they weren't allowed to. They'd never have kids, either, since for obvious reasons they couldn't. Adopting a dog and caring for him together might be the closest they could get to being somewhat like a family. Though, Mick was completely alright with that. It wasn't conventional in the slightest but he wouldn't want to have it any other way. Keith was the love of his life, he was sure that he was all that he needed. As long as they could be together and were happy, Mick thought it was the only thing that truly mattered. 

"What do you think, baby?", he asked Keith as they were on their way back to the animal shelter, Buster trailing along beside them. "Are we gonna take him home?"

"Let's take him home", Keith said without further ado, a huge smile on his face. "Right, Buster? We're gonna take you home with us, buddy!"


	10. Is this a yes, then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,   
I'm back with a new chapter for this story. Have some of the others lined out already, so I think I might be able to post more soon! This is cheesiest fluff, I needed it cause I'm down with the flu lol, hope you enjoy :)

May 1973

"I want to get married to you, baby", Mick suggested, almost casually as they both were leaning against the headboard of their bed. They had the blankets loosely draped over their legs, sharing a cigarette, their skin still damp and heated after making love to each other, while the bliss was slowly fading away. 

"What?", Keith returned, utterly perplexed, almost dropping the cigarette that he'd just wanted to pass back to him. His eyes mirrored confusion as they met Mick's. 

"Don't you want to?", he inquired, hating how insecure his voice sounded. It wasn't just an idée fixe his fogged mind had come up with in its post coital high. In fact he'd been toying with the idea for a while now, not able to easily forget about it again once it had occurred to him. He just hadn't known how and when to talk about it to Keith. The thought of simply proposing to him seemed preposterous without at least trying to discuss the matter beforehand. 

"It's not about if I want to. You know we can't", Keith gave back with a shrug, resignated, taking another drag from the cigarette that Mick hadn't taken back from him. 

"Who says?", Mick almost dared him, mustering Keith curiously, waiting for his answer.

"Everyone...the law, society…", he trailed off, putting out the cigarette in the ashtray on his nightstand before turning back to face Mick. "It's not legal, baby." 

"But who cares? We've been together for almost ten years now. And I know that I want to be with you till we're old and cranky…", Mick argued. 

"We don't need some bloody license for that", Keith chuckled, pulling the blanket up as he slid down onto his side, leaning his head onto his arm to keep looking at Mick. 

"No, we don't. But I'd still love to put a ring on your finger, baby...call you my husband. Make the promise to you to always stay together and care for each other...Invite our friends over for a party and have some cake. Why shouldn't we have all that just because we're two blokes?", he told him, gliding under the blanket to rest on his side as well. For a moment they were holding each other's gaze, blue meeting brown. The initial confusion had left Keith's eyes, only leaving room for tenderness as he stretched out a hand to lightly brush his fingers over Mick's cheek and neck. "I love you, Keith. I love you so much and I always want to be with you…", he added in a soft voice. 

"You're right, baby. We should get these rings and that cake", Keith smiled, his fingertips gently trailing over Mick's earlap. 

"Is that a yes, then?", Mick returned, a giddy smile spreading across his face. 

"You didn't even properly ask me yet", Keith smirked, making him chuckle. Then Mick gave him a sweet smile, resting his own hand over Keith's to lead it to his lips, pressing loving little kisses to his palm before entwining their fingers. 

"Do you want to be my husband, Keith?", he asked, his voice as gentle as the look in his eyes. 

"Of course I want to, darling", Keith immediately replied, mirroring the wide smile Mick gave him. 

"This means we're engaged then...unless you expect me to give you a ring?", Mick smirked and Keith laughed softly.

"Let's spare this for when we're actually getting married, baby", he meant, draping an arm over Mick's side, snuggling closer to him, their legs getting entangled. 

"So...you're my fiancé now, love", Mick asserted, the smile clearly audible in his voice, unspeakingly happy about the prospect of marrying Keith one day soon and then getting to spend the rest of his life with him. 

"I guess I am", Keith chuckled, hugging him closer, engaging him in a sweet kiss that Mick gladly returned.


	11. You can tell me anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :)  
here, have the next chapter, thanks for reading and enjoy!   
hopefully I can finish writing this oneshots story soon, because then I can FINALLY focus on Far From Perfect again, since I learned I can only focus on one story at a time or otherwise I'll end up writing nothing at all...but there are six more chapters to go here! (a lot of drama yet to come, so buckle up lol)

February 1978

"Are you having a thing with Ronnie?", it all but burst out of Mick one night. They were both sitting in bed, Keith with a newspaper in his hands, Mick trying to read a book. But he hadn't been able to focus on the words, kept re-reading the same lines over and over again while his mind was trying to figure out how to best address the situation at hand. Eventually, he hadn't been able to come up with anything better than just blurting out his worst assumption. 

"Excuse me?", Keith gave back, utterly confused as he let the paper sink down onto his outstretched legs. 

"Are you shagging him?", Mick inquired further, putting his book away and then turned around to face Keith. 

"What?", Keith looked completely dumbfounded. "This is ridiculous, Mick. You know it's not like that", he tried to explain until Mick cut him off because he was so enraged about the whole matter. 

"Then what is it like? Cause you're always gone for hours, just 'hanging out' with him", he threw at Keith, who just kept staring at him as if he'd lost his mind. 

"He's my best friend. Are you saying I shouldn't be hanging out with my best friend because you're getting paranoid?", he accused him and Mick snorted, running his hands over his face, messing up his own hair as he was sighing, trying to calm himself down. 

"I'm not...god...I'm...I love you, okay. I really bloody love you but you...you grew so distant lately...and I thought, well...you're always with Ronnie...is there something not alright, baby?", he eventually got out once his thoughts were clearer again. 

Keith hadn't been his usual self recently. He was way more introverted than he'd ever been and he seemed stressed out and tired all the time. At first, Mick had thought nothing much of it and associated it with the tough work he was putting into trying to open up his own record store. But Keith had been all odd and distracted for weeks now, they barely got to talk anymore. To Mick, the most obvious reason for Keith's strange behaviour had been assuming the worst, that he was cheating on him. 

"I'm fine…", Keith claimed, but Mick knew it wasn't the truth and that he was as far from fine as possible. 

"Then why don't you talk to me anymore like we used to? Why are you always just so tired and moody? Why don't you want to make love to me anymore?", Mick wanted to know, he didn't sound angry, rather desperate because he didn't understand what had happened between them. What had gone wrong for them to end up like that. They hadn't slept with each other for weeks because Keith always claimed to be tired. In the beginning, Mick had just shrugged it off, at least trying to cuddle with him instead. But by now he actually was hurting because he started feeling that Keith didn't want him, wasn't attracted to him anymore. 

"Mick...it's not that…", Keith sighed but didn't make any attempt to explain himself further. 

"What's it then? What's going on with you, Keith? I want my husband back...I'm missing you so badly...I'm missing us, baby", Mick said, his hurt clearly audible in his voice. 

"Is it someone else? A woman?", he inquired as Keith didn't reply right away. 

"No...I'm not cheating on you, babe, I promise, I'm not. I love you, Mick", Keith returned, now sounding desperate as well. 

"Then why don't you act like it? Why don't you talk to me? You know you can talk to me, baby...", Mick told him, feeling tears stinging in his eyes because he didn't know what he'd done wrong for Keith to shut down like this. 

"I fucked up...I fucked up so badly, Mick…", Keith finally admitted and to his astonishment, broke out into sobs, burying his face in his hands. Mick didn't hesitate long but wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a tender embrace while running a hand over his back in a soothing manner. 

"It's fine, baby. Whatever it is...we can figure it out, I promise...but you gotta talk to me, okay?", he whispered to him, hugging him tightly while Keith kept crying against his neck and Mick couldn't hold back his own tears any longer. It was painful seeing Keith like that, he seemed broken, helpless. 

"You can tell me anything, love. I won't get mad at you, I promise. Just please, talk to me, baby", Mick mumbled, his voice all choked, while digging a hand into Keith's hair, gently messing it up. It took Keith a little while to get calm enough in order to express himself, but when he finally opened up to Mick, his voice was insecure and stained with tears. 

"It's...well...Ronnie's got some mates...and...well, we were just hanging out and...and they had some stuff…"

"What stuff?", Mick inquired, loosening his embrace to be able to look at him in question. "Baby, what stuff?", he prompted again, as Keith didn't answer him. 

"Drugs, Mick...I...I got into drugs", he eventually replied, almost inaudible, averting his gaze in shame. "I'm so sorry, Mick. I know I really fucked up. And I don't want this anymore. I just...I don't know how to stop…"

"What did you take?", is all Mick could think of saying because he was so perplexed by this confession. Admittedly, it would have been less astonishing to him hearing that Keith actually was cheating on him. Even though Keith taking drugs explained everything, all of his recent behaviour, Mick still couldn't wrap his head around why he would do so at all in the first place. 

"It was just smoking some grass at first...then some coke…", Keith went on, still sounding incredibly abashed. "Now, it's morphine, okay...I got hooked on that shit...I know, I bloody fucked up. And I wanna stop, I really do...", he meant, his voice desperate, as he lifted his gaze again to meet Mick's, tears shining in his eyes. 

"But why, why did you even start?", Mick wanted to comprehend. 

"Because it didn't seem to be a big deal...one of Ronnie's mates is working at a hospital. It's easy getting his hands on that shit...I just thought...well, I don't know. I just tried and then...I couldn't stop…", Keith meant before breaking out in new tears, burying his face against Mick's chest as he pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him tightly. 

"Shh, it's fine, baby. You need help", Mick tried to soothe him. It was the only reasonable thing be could think of in that moment. He couldn't even be outraged at Keith if he wanted to because he was way too worried about him. And he also was way too relieved that he wasn't actually betraying him, even though taking care of a drug addicted husband might be worse than handling some cheating. 

"I know...", Keith sobbed, his hands clenched into Mick's t-shirt. 

"We'll figure this out, love...you'll be alright", Mick assured him, gently rocking him in his arms as he laid both of them down onto their side, pulling the blanket over them. 

"But I cannot do it without you…", Keith got out, still clinging onto Mick in despair. 

"You won't have to...I'll be there for you, baby. It's gonna be okay", Mick mumbled, pressing some soft kisses to his hair. 

"Aren't you pissed at me?", Keith muttered after a while as they lay entangled, closely huddled up, just holding each other. 

"I'm so worried for you, Keith...I just want you to be alright, my love", Mick quietly told him. Freaking out about it and yelling wouldn't do any good for either of them. Probably the only thing he could do now was to be supportive and help Keith getting clean. 

"I'm so sorry for not talking to you sooner, Mick...I didn't know what to do…", Keith explained his head snuggled against Mick's shoulder. 

"You can tell me anything, love. I'm gonna get you help, I promise", he assured him, wrapping his arms around him even tighter. "We'll be alright, baby, I know we will", he added, gently kissing Keith's temple.


	12. We wouldn't have been happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,   
hope you enjoy this new chapter, thanks for reading!  
p.s. yeah the drama was all long planned lol, or did you really expect ME to make it that easy? xD of course Hannah would be back in the picture eventually xD

April 1981

"Why did you lie to me? Why didn't you tell me?", Keith all but accused Hannah. He was pacing around his kitchen while she was sitting there, staring at the cup of tea in front of her. Twenty minutes earlier, the doorbell had rang, announcing her completely uninvited. The only reason Hannah even knew where he was living with Mick now was that she'd inquired so from Keith's mother who had always been quite fond of her. 

"I knew you didn't want this", she muttered, regarding him almost sheepishly. She still looked like back when they were dating, just a couple years older, of course. After all, it had been nearly twenty years since they'd last seen each other. But she still had the same kind eyes, long blonde hair, her face as beautiful as ever, just more grown up, aged. 

"I would have supported you. I'd have been there for you and Maggie!", he returned, obviously outraged about learning in this way that Hannah had been pregnant with his child after all, all those many years ago. But she only had chosen to tell him now that Maggie, their daughter, was seventeen and kept nagging her that she wanted to know who her father was. 

"You didn't want me, though", Hannah pointed out, not in an accusing tone, rather quite matter-of-factly. She was nestling around on one of the pictures of their daughter that she had brought with to show him. 

"It's not true…", Keith gave back, calmer again, dropping down on his chair, sighing and ruffling his hair. It was a hell of a lot to take in, his mind was spinning and he didn't even know how to start processing these news. He had a teenage daughter he'd never seen and who grew up without him because her mother thought it was for the best. 

"Keith…come on, don't think I'm a fool. I knew", Hannah meant, giving him a probing look. 

"What?", he wanted to know, not really sure what she was onto. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was a father. 

"That you weren't in love with me, but with Mick. And you always have been, haven't you?", she clarified, waiting for him to reply. 

"I loved you...in the beginning I did", is what Keith came up with, it was the truth. 

"But then you didn't", Hannah pointed out and he sighed anew. 

"I'm so sorry, Hannah. I wanted to be there for you and Maggie…", he meant, not sounding angry anymore, rather disappointed. He felt completely left out of it, like he had been wronged, like he should have had a say in her decision, or at least known about it sooner. 

"We would have been miserable together", Hannah stated as if it wasn't apparent. 

"Maybe we wouldn't…", Keith mused, shifting his gaze down to his hands. It felt odd imagining that all these years there had been a little girl out there who was his daughter but he'd never known. Because Hannah chose to lie to him. 

"Don't be kidding yourself! You were glad when I told you I wasn't pregnant after all...you were relieved!", she returned and deep down, Keith was aware that she was right. Things wouldn't have worked out in the long run, they wouldn't have been happy. 

"I'm sorry…", he mumbled, eventually meeting her gaze again. 

"You've been with him all this time, haven't you?", Hannah wanted to know then, looking at him curiously and it was obvious that she was talking about Mick. 

"He's the love of my life", Keith admitted, a little smile spreading across his face at the mere thought of his husband. Maybe it was completely silly but Mick actually still made him get giddy even after all those years. 

"See...we wouldn't have been happy together", Hannah stated the obvious and Keith gave her a short nod in agreement. 

"I still would have loved to be there, seeing Maggie grow up. How did you manage?", he inquired. 

"When Maggie was about half a year old, I met my husband, Liam. He took in Maggie as his own, raised her with me. He's a good man", she told him and Keith hummed in understanding. 

"Are you still together?"

"Yes, we are. He's Maggie's dad...and we had two boys after her", Hannah informed him. 

"I see…", he mumbled, feeling totally passed over once more. 

"I'm sorry. I did what I thought was the right thing at the time", she tried to explain, but it wasn't good enough for Keith. 

"You took away the chance for me to see my kid grow up...to raise her…", he blamed her, his voice tainted with disappointment. 

"Keith, we weren't even twenty years old...you didn't have a job", Hannah argued in return. 

"And then you thought raising her alone would be better?", he retorted, the anger and frustration clearly audible in his voice, even though he didn't rise it. 

"My parents helped me", was all Hannah had to say in reply and it made Keith get more annoyed. 

"I would have helped you! I would have gotten a job! What about Liam, what's he do?", he argued, not able to not feel jealous about a man he didn't even know. But it was hard not to. After all he had got to be there for Keith's daughter while he didn't get the chance to himself. 

"He just finished law school when we met..."

"Of course, he did…", he almost snorted. 

"You didn't love me, Keith!", Hannah accused him then and all he did was turning his gaze away for a moment. "See, you don't even try objecting me now. It always has been Mick for you, always", she added and Keith thought he could still notice the hurt in her eyes as he dared to face her again. 

"I'm sorry, Hannah...I just...I would have loved to see her grow up", he sighed, running a hand over his face. It was simply too much. Seeing Hannah after all that time, finding out they had a kid together, knowing that he missed being there for her. 

"I'm sorry too", she gave back and for a moment they just kept silently gazing at each other. 

"Can I...would it be alright to hang out with Maggie sometime? Take her someplace, get to know her?", he inquired then almost coyly. He'd love to at least meet his daughter now that he knew of her, or what else was the point of Hannah telling him? 

"Of course. That's why I came to see you, because she's kept asking about you. She'd love to get to know you, Keith", she confirmed his assumption. 

"I'd love that too. She's so beautiful...just like her mother…", he said softly and the smile he gave her was a sad one. "I'm really sorry Hannah...for not being able to love you the way you needed me to", he apologised again, reaching over the table to pick up one of the pictures Hannah had brought. It was from Maggie's first day at school. She was spotting her school bag, excitedly smiling into the camera. 

"It's alright now. This was a long time ago", Hannah assured him, observing him studying the picture. "That ring…?", she started asking after a moment, as she noticed his golden wedding band. 

"Mick and I got married seven years ago...well...not legally, of course, not in a proper ceremony...", he mentioned, putting the picture of his daughter back down. 

"I'm glad you're happy. Does your mum know about this?", Hanna asked. 

"She was there for the wedding. Well, I guess she tries to not really think too much about that I'm with another lad instead of a woman, even though she adores Mick...but she seems alright, knowing we're happy", he explained. Obviously, his mum hadn't been too pleased at first. But she'd known Mick for years before they eventually told her that they weren't just flatmates and she had taken it surprisingly well after some initial shock. 

"Did you ever mind?", he added after a while, studying her curiously. 

"What?"

"That I fell for a bloke?", Keith clarified. 

"I think it would have been worse losing you to another woman. At least with Mick, I knew I could never stand a chance...sometimes I wondered why I didn't realise sooner. I guess I didn't want to see…", Hannah mentioned and he nodded lightly. 

"When did you know?"

"That time where you stayed with me for a week or so without even paying attention to me. All you did was sulking about him...you were so unhappy. But the way you talked about him…the way you looked at him when you thought nobody was watching...it made it painfully obvious that you were in love with him…"

"I never meant to hurt you" , he quietly offered, reaching out to gently press her hand. 

"It's all good now", she said, giving him a light smile. 

"Does Maggie know about Mick and I?", he thought of asking. 

"You should tell her yourself if you'd like to", Hannah returned and he mirrored the smile she was giving him, quite excited about the prospect of getting to meet his daughter soon.


	13. It just happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
here, have some more drama with this new chapter^^ I know, it's dramatic but what shall I say...there will be 2-3 more chapters after that one. Once I'm done with this story, I hope to focus on Far from Perfect again because I really really wanna continue with that.  
As always, thanks for reading and your feedback, hope you enjoy! :)

November 1982

"How long?", was all he could get out while he tried really hard not to panic although it was taking him all of his self control to not start yelling, or throwing the next best objects, or running out of their flat and into the streets. 

"About two months…", Mick muttered, not directly looking at him. At least he sounded ashamed, but it was the least he should be after what he had just confessed to. 

"Why?", Keith asked, his voice shrill, not like his usual voice sounded at all. He felt absolutely sick to his stomach and couldn't even bear hearing Mick saying all of that. It was like each further word he uttered was a slap directly into Keith's face. 

"It just happened…", Mick offered as an explanation, but it was a weak one, outright ludicrous. There was no way Keith would believe, let alone accept it. There was absolutely no way to justify what he had done. 

Keith snorted. "I could believe you if it was only a one time thing, but that? How often did you see her?", he asked, although it pained him and he wasn't sure whether he actually wanted to know. 

Maybe it would be for the best if he didn't. He didn't even know whether it was positive that finally everything was out in the open now or whether he would have preferred blissful oblivion. At least not knowing of Mick's affair wouldn't cause him so much pain right now. But surely, in the end it would have gotten out one way or the other anyway. If it wasn't for Mick's bad conscience, at least for a while they still could have pretended that they were alright. However, of all the alternatives of finding out about this, Keith was glad that Mick at least had possessed the decency of telling him to his face. Even if it was a total blow which he didn't anticipate in the slightest and that left him feeling like he was unable to properly breathe. 

"I don't know...a couple of times...it doesn't matter. It just happened…", Mick gave back and Keith had to laugh for a moment, a harsh, sarcastic laugh because the whole situation seemed utterly insane. Then he sobered up again, willing to lead this conversation right now, even if it ended up causing him more pain than Mick's prior confession already had. 

"Why did you go back to her at all?", he wanted to know because he honestly didn't understand. He knew that they hadn't been all perfect and fine in a while. That they didn't spend as much time together, didn't talk to each other as often as they should and used to. Since Mick had taken that job for the BBC he barely was home anymore. So Keith had ended up hanging out a lot with Maggie and Hannah recently. Because he had time and Mick wasn't there and he still always felt he should be making up to Maggie for all the years he should have been there for her but wasn't. It was true that Mick and him had been a little bit distant lately. But never in a million years would Keith have believed that Mick could actually be cheating on him. Not after everything they already went through together. 

"Cause she made me feel good...and I...I was foolish and feeling left out…", Mick tried to explain but didn't get far because Keith disrupted him once more. 

"Of what?", Keith asked, his tone becoming more aggressive now because everything Mick was coming up with was complete and utter bullshit. 

"You were always spending so much time with Maggie and Hannah...I just felt that I didn't belong there with you anymore…", he mumbled, still not lifting his gaze to face Keith. 

"You cannot be serious, what were you thinking? There is nothing going on between Hannah and I, you know that! She's married, for god's sake! And we are married...you and I. There's nothing for you to be jealous of!", Keith all but spat at him, not able to keep his voice down any longer because Mick was frustrating him to no ends. "Why didn't you tell me how you felt? Why didn't you talk to me?", he added after a moment, a little calmer. His emotions were a total mess, anger and disappointment, disbelief and hurt all mixed up.

"I don't know…we didn't see each other a lot recently, I know it's my fault, I should have told you...she made me get all excited and…", Mick started but Keith didn't want to hear what he had to tell about that woman. It made him feel physically sick and actually he wanted to yell at Mick to leave him alone. But there was so much he needed to get out first because it deeply worried him and he couldn't simply ignore it. 

"What and? Did you get bored of me? Am I not enough for you anymore? Are you in love with her?", he asked instead, his voice as hard as the expression on his face. Actually, he felt miserable, he wanted to cry and scream and let out his pain, but he didn't want to break down in front of Mick now. That's why he tried to play it tough. 

"No...no, Keith...I love you", Mick stammered and it was clearly obvious from the sound of his voice that he was close to tears. 

"Then why did you shag her?", Keith couldn't stop himself from yelling because he was so indescribably mad at Mick. 

"It just happened, I told you…", he started but Keith didn't actually want to know right then, he was too angry to listen, all he wanted was to scream out his frustration. 

"And of course it also just bloody happened that you knocked her up!", he all but spat at Mick, still not able to clearly comprehend the implications of everything Mick had told him. 

"Keith…"

"No, Mick...was that what you actually wanted? Shagging some woman to have a kid with her? Because what? I happen to have one and then you wanted one too?", he accused him, unable to tame his rage as he ran both of his hands over his face in utter disbelief, wishing that whatever was going on was nothing but the worst dream he ever had. Because he didn't know how to deal with it otherwise. He didn't know how to be without Mick anymore after such a long time. But it also was more than obvious that he couldn't be with him either, not after this. Not for the moment at least. He couldn't even stand being around him.

"That's...no...that's not it...I'm so sorry, Keith…I never intended for this to happen", Mick stuttered, looking at him almost shocked. Probably because he'd never seen Keith getting this enraged before. There never had been a reason to be this mad after all. But being confronted with something like this? Keith could barely stop himself from throwing accusations at Mick once he'd started to do so. 

"Then why did you do it?", he demanded to know. "Did you miss shagging a woman? Tell me! Did you?", he prompted him, bellowing at him, getting carried away by his anger and pain. 

"I'm so sorry...yeah...maybe...maybe, I did…", Mick nearly whimpered and all Keith had to return was a hollow laugh. "But I'm so sorry, Keith, you've gotta believe me, babe...", Mick started crying. Keith couldn't care less. He didn't believe a word of what he said. 

"I cannot do this right now, Mick. God...I cannot even look at you right now…", he gave back, quieter, sounding disgusted as he was shaking his head to underline his statement. 

"Keith, please…", Mick cried, tears running down his cheeks. He looked pathetic and it only made Keith get angry. Mick wasn't the one who should be bawling right now. Keith was the one who got hurt, but all he felt at the moment was burning rage. 

"What? What do you want?!", he shouted. 

"I want you...I love you", Mick sobbed, trying to grab hold of his arm but Keith moved out of his way. The least he wanted right now was for Mick to get too close to him because Keith couldn't stand it. Not after Mick literally admitted to him that he betrayed him. 

"We're married for god's sake, Mick! We're married...and you...you…", he started, so upset that his voice broke as he was searching for words to remind him because maybe Mick needed to hear this. "Do you remember when you told me I could talk to you about anything? Do you?", he prompted and Mick only nodded. It had been back when Keith had admitted to doing drugs. When Mick had been so sweet and understanding. And when Keith was so scared of losing him but never in the world would have imagined that Mick would ever betray him. 

"Then why didn't you tell me? You can talk to me too, you know?! You should have told me that you weren't happy about things", Keith meant, sadness taking over in his voice now as it started to sink in to him that something must be clearly wrong between them. Or otherwise Mick surely wouldn't have had the urge to do this to him. He felt like panicking at the thought that this might be because of him. That Mick didn't trust him, didn't want him, didn't actually love him anymore. Maybe they had been together for such a long time that they grew too accustomed to each other. Maybe Mick was sick of him and wanted someone else for a change. 

"Baby...I never meant for this to happen", Mick assured him again, his voice still tear stained. 

"Then why did you do it?", he repeated because he simply couldn't understand. He thought they loved each other. That Mick was as much in love as Keith still was either. That he would never hurt him like that because neither would Keith. 

"Because I was jealous and incredibly stupid…and she was stunning and exciting...", Mick babbled but it didn't help. Keith couldn't think of a single reason to justify Mick's actions. 

"You probably should just admit to me that you don't want me anymore and you got tired of me...", he meant in a quieter tone that couldn't hide his hurt feelings. 

"But I'm not...I thought maybe...I thought I was...but now I know, I'm not...and I want you...I still do want you, baby…", Mick let him know, tears shining in his eyes and Keith could neither handle to look at him nor listen to his words. Finding out this directly that Mick actually went behind his back because he felt tired of him was too much. Even if in the end it apparently made Mick realise that he still wanted him, it was a kind of knowledge Keith wished he had never acquired because it was too hurtful. 

"I have already ended things with her, because I love you! Only then she told me...but I want you, Keith...I love you…", Mick went on but Keith didn't really hear his words anymore. He felt dizzy, like suddenly his lungs weren't getting enough air to breathe as a heavy weight settled in his chest. 

"I want you to leave", he heard himself saying, not sure whether it were his own words because his voice sounded so foreign to his ears. 

"What?", Mick asked, all but dumbfounded. 

"I cannot stand being around you. I need you to get the fuck out of here…", Keith repeated, harsher this time. 

"Keith…", Mick interjected, trying to calm him down but it only made him get angrier. 

"Get out!", he bellowed at him.

"Baby, please…", Mick started, apparently searching for yet more excuses that Keith didn't want to hear and wouldn't believe. 

"Take your shit and get the fuck away from me", Keith demanded as he felt like chocking because his heart was feeling so heavy and he was actually fighting back bitter tears. 

"But it's my place too...where do you want me to go?", Mick returned, desperate now. 

"How about you go back to your woman?" Frankly, he didn't give a damn about what Mick would be doing now as long as he finally left him alone. 

"I'm not with her...she doesn't mean anything to me, Keith...", Mick desperately tried to establish as he stepped closer to him, but didn't attempt to touch him again. "Please, I love you...I love you so much, Keith, please give me another shot...", he pleaded, his voice hoarse from crying. 

"I can't now, Mick...please, leave me alone", Keith returned in a quieter tone, exhausted by their quarrel and by his own feelings. 

"I don't know what to do without you", Mick admitted, new tears running down his cheeks. It only made Keith snort a little because Mick saying this now, after the damage was done, was absolutely preposterous.

"You shouldn't have screwed her then..."

"Baby, please…"

"Piss off, Mick, before I'm throwing you out myself", Keith meant, exasperated by Mick's persistency.

"Are you breaking up with me?", he wanted to know, the look he was giving Keith was outright pathetic. 

"What do you think? You cheated on me, Mick! You cheated on me after making such a huge fuss about this back when you thought I had a thing with Ronnie! So, you think you are allowed to freak out at me about betraying you, even if I wasn't...I never would...I never would do this to you, Mick...but you...you…", Keith was so frustrated about the whole situation he wanted to yell, but his voice betrayed him, eventually breaking, portraying all of his disappointment and heartache. 

"I'm so sorry…", Mick repeated once again, but Keith was sick of hearing it. 

"Put your sorry elsewhere…", he muttered, turning away from him, contemplating to leave if Mick didn't. 

"I'm still so much in love with you, Keith…", he claimed and Keith only got out a laugh that dangerously sounded like a sob as he buried his face in his hands. 

"How much do you still want to hurt me?", he eventually asked, although he actually wanted to say something entirely else. He wanted to tell Mick that he, too, was still in love with him, which presented the whole tragedy. If he didn't still love him so dearly, he wouldn't be hurting this badly. But as things were, having Mick around right this moment only made everything so much worse and all he wanted was for him to finally leave so he didn't have to see him any longer. 

"I never wanted to hurt you", Mick dared to say, and again, Keith simply snorted because it was ludicrous. 

"Well, but you bloody did", he stated the obvious as if it hadn't occurred to Mick yet. "I'm going outside for a walk now...and when I come back I want you to be gone", he added, grabbing his jacket and the front door keys. 

"Can't I stay and try to fix this? I want to fix this...please, let me make this alright again, Keith", Mick whined as he followed him to the door. 

"I want you to leave me the hell alone right now!"

"But...what about later? In a couple of days, a week?", Mick asked in sheer desperation. 

"I don't know...I cannot see you now. Fuck off here, Mick", Keith replied almost indifferently before slamming the door shut behind himself.


	14. Make me trust you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :)  
thank you guys so much for reading, enjoy this new chapter! (even if it's a dramatic one xD). After this, I have two more planned until the story is finished, but maybe I'm gonna make it three, let's see ;)

May 1983 

The doorbell jingled as Mick entered the well known record store near Covent Garden, announcing his arrival. Keith was standing next to some boxes of the latest records, waiting to be put onto display for sale. He turned around, ready to greet the new customer, but once he realised it was Mick, his face visibly hardened and he averted his gaze back to the records in front of him. Nevertheless, Mick walked up to him, coming to a halt close to him, nervously stuffing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. He'd made his way over there to get to talk to him and he intended to do so, even if Keith pretended that he wasn't there. 

"Hi", he simply said, waiting for Keith to concentrate his attention back towards him, but in vain. 

Since he decided to ignore him for now, Mick ended up silently observing him: the way he pulled record after record out of the boxes to briefly scan their cover before putting them among the other ones that were already on sale. His movements were considerate, almost devotional, and Mick felt a tiny smile creeping onto his face. Because Keith had always been like that with his records, especially back when they were just boys, sharing their first flat together with Brian. Not just for the reason that they were expensive and neither of them had much money. But mostly because for Keith these records, alongside his guitar, actually were his greatest treasure, ideologically worth more than just the pounds they had cost. 

While quietly watching him, Mick noticed that Keith looked thinner than he remembered him when seeing him last a couple months back. His hair was also a little more dishevelled than usual and he was spotting some stubble, which Mick actually thought suited him quite well. However, at the same time, it was painfully obvious that Keith wasn't alright because his skin looked pale and dark circles underneath his eyes were giving away that he probably didn't get too much sleep lately. Seeing him like that made Mick feel even more sorry than he already did. He never meant for them to end up like that, for Keith to be that miserable. And he wished more than anything else that Keith would finally agree to let Mick start trying to make things up to him. 

"What do you want here?", Keith greeted him eventually all short spoken and didn't even pay him proper notice as he continued to sort the new records. 

"Can we talk?", Mick asked, clearly feeling his insecurity that only was fired by Keith's repellent behaviour. Coming to the store, trying to talk to Keith in person once more, had seemed to be a good idea at first. Until he actually was there and Keith, again, acted like he was thin air. 

"I have to work. I already told you last time not to show up at my store", Keith gave back, all gruff, still facing away from him as he put some records among those of musicians starting with the letter "G". 

"You won't return my calls, you won't open up for me when I'm at your door, you won't even listen or talk to Brian or Ronnie when all I want is trying to figure out how you're doing. What else am I supposed to do?", he wanted to know, feeling desperate. 

Keith had been ignoring him for months, acting like nothing happened, like he didn't exist, as he was doing right there with Mick standing next to him. Meanwhile, their mutual friends had been filling him in on the fact that Keith seemed pretty heartbroken. Yet, he wouldn't tell them anything and apparently didn't want to listen to them whenever they tried reminding him that Mick was awfully sorry and deeply regretted what he did. In the beginning, right after they split up, Mick had been sidelined by everybody who knew them. Of course, they all were on Keith's side, and rightfully so. But with time, he'd started to see Charlie and Brian and Ronnie again. By now, they all actively wanted to help him getting Keith back, because they couldn't stand both of them being this miserable without each other. Only that Keith apparently wasn't at a point yet where he would accept, or even take advice in their cajoling. 

"Leave me alone", he only meant, sounding annoyed and grumpy. 

"Keith, please...just hear me out", Mick all but pleaded with him. 

He knew he couldn't expect Keith not to be pissed and hurt and disappointed by him. After all, Mick was awfully aware that he had broken his heart and caused him tremendous pain. He also knew that he couldn't simply expect his forgiveness, obviously he didn't deserve it, no matter how often he told him he regretted his actions and that he was sorry. But he was willing to earn it. However, in order to do so, he needed to be able to at least talk to Keith again. 

"There might be customers coming in", he pointed out, while he kept sorting the records. 

"Then close up and take a short break", Mick suggested but Keith didn't even attempt to stop what he was doing to walk over to the door. 

"Please...it's been forever since we talked", he added, hating himself for how hurt he sounded because he was the one who'd caused the damage and pain. For Mick feeling absolutely crappy during the past months without Keith seemed like a fair reminder of what he had done and it made him get only more remorseful. 

"I've got nothing to tell you", Keith all but blocked him off, quietly putting some more records on display. 

"Baby, please...I want you back...I miss you so bloody much", he said, his voice choked by held back tears. The last thing he wanted was to start crying once more now, because it was his own fault that they were in this current situation. He had caused this and he needed to find a way to fix this again. 

"I thought you had your woman to take care off", Keith jabbed at him without turning around to face him. His hurt and anger was clearly detectable in his words. 

"I already broke things off with her before I even told you...how often do I have to explain this to you?", Mick gave back, not annoyed but exhausted. He was so tired of saying the same things again and again, explaining himself over and over, but always facing the same outcome: Keith still not wanting to talk about everything to him. 

"You shouldn't have started things with her in the first place…", he only returned. "Did you see her again?", he wanted to know then, surprising Mick because he hadn't expected Keith asking him that. Even though it was a legitimate question and he could see why Keith would be interested in knowing. 

"No...not really. Just to talk to her about the baby...I want to be there...I want to take care of my child", Mick announced and finally, Keith stopped fidgeting with the records and turned to face him. 

"Then whom did you stay with all these months?", he asked, almost in disbelief. 

"I rented a small place for myself…", Mick shrugged. It was a ditch, but most of the time he only was there to sleep anyway. 

"What about the baby?", Keith went on and for a moment, Mick was glad that they almost were leading somewhat of an ordinary conversation. 

"It's due soon...just a matter of days, really…", he stated, sounding coy about it because he didn't know how Keith would be reacting. 

"Are you happy now?", it was an ironic question coming back at him, and Keith didn't actually attempt to keep the biting tone out of his voice. Mick sighed, nearly having expected a reply like that. But obviously, he couldn't resent him for it. 

"No...cause I'm missing you so badly...and I want to be with you again, Keith. I still love you so bloody much. And I'm so sorry...I really don't know what came over me back then...but I never wanted to hurt you", he told him, yet another time because he needed him to know and understand this. He'd tried to tell him dozens of times before, whenever he saw him, or was standing in front of their flat, knowing Keith was inside, just not willing to let him in. 

"Well, but you did", Keith snapped back, his ongoing pain obvious not only in his voice, but also clearly visible in his eyes. 

"I'm really so, so sorry...and I just want you back, love", Mick returned, giving him a soft look. "I want to come home to you again, Keith. And I want you to be there with me...maybe watch my kid grow up, help me raise them…", he said in a quiet voice. 

"You've got some nerves telling me that, do you even hear yourself? You went off, betraying me, knocking up some random woman and now you want me to help you with her child?", Keith replied, incredulously, a harsh laugh escaping from his lips as he turned away from him to focus on his records again. 

"I'm sorry, Keith...I don't know what else to tell you…other than I'm missing you every single day and I cannot stand it without you", Mick replied, feeling tears welling up in his eyes because he had no idea what else to do or say. 

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you screwed her...", Keith grumbled, his voice bitter. 

"Keith, please...what do you want me to do? I'll do anything, baby, just tell me...what do you want me to do for you to take me back?", Mick begged him, knowing how utterly pathetic he sounded. 

"Make me trust you again", Keith quietly replied after a moment, looking at him without meeting his eyes. 

"How?", he wanted to know, a bit baffled by the fact that Keith didn't brush him off yet again but actually had come up with a proper reply. 

"You fucked this up, not me. Think of something", Keith returned, and even though he probably didn't intend to, sounded challenging. Mick thought it seemed fitting, because it appeared like a huge challenge to him figuring out what exactly to do in order to win him back. Seeing how abrasive Keith behaved towards him right there, it surely wouldn't be a simple undergoing. But he meant what he'd said. He'd do anything to make Keith forgive him and take him back. 

"I will...I swear, I will", Mick asserted him, completely convinced that he'd find a way to remind Keith that they belonged together. "Thanks for listening to me, baby", he quietly added. 

"You wouldn't leave me be otherwise", Keith sighed. 

"Because I love you", Mick said, naturally. 

"Fuck off, Mick", he meant and although it felt like a heavy punch to the guts, Mick didn't give in. 

"I know you still love me, too...I know you do. And I'll try to remind you, Keith. I promise I'll prove to you that you can still trust me", he gave back, not able to hold back his tears any longer. 

Obviously he could comprehend Keith's dismissal after everything he had put him through. But what he didn't understand was how Keith managed to stay this distant, when clearly he cared more than he'd ever be willing to admit. However, Mick didn't need to hear it in his words, since Keith was sentimental enough in his actions. He had realised right away, but didn't dare to comment on the fact that Keith actually was wearing a worn out t-shirt that once had been Mick's. It was just an old shred, a piece of clothing Mick hadn't worn in an eternity, but he remembered Keith nicking it from him all the time, ending up wearing it more often than him. 

Mick noticed that Keith caught him staring at the t-shirt, as silent tears were running down his cheeks. And he was absolutely sure Keith knew that Mick was aware of how much he still cared, even though he pretended not to. 

"Let's see…", Keith eventually returned after a quiet moment. "I gotta get back to work now" , he simply added then, without catering to Mick's prior words. 

"Can I hug you goodbye?", Mick dared to ask because he simply had to give it a go. He didn't actually expect Keith to agree but it still would be nice being able to at least embrace him again. It had been over half a year since they got close enough to each other for as much as their hands to touch. He couldn't even remember the last time he kissed him or held him in his arms. But Mick absolutely missed being able to be this close to him, he desperately missed him. 

"Just leave", Keith meant as abrasive as before and Mick only nodded, feeling crestfallen, defeated, as he turned to go. 

"I'm so sorry…", he mumbled once more, giving him a last sad look before eventually finding his way out of Keith's record store.


	15. I got all your letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
truly had such a crappy day today...everything went pretty wrong...but then I remembered I wanted to update this story and re-reading this chapter again before I'm posting it made me smile, cause I really really loved writing it. It's fluffy, of course ;) hope you enjoy it too! Thanks a lot for reading :)

December 1983

Mick had been relentless the past half a year or so, apparently not willing to give up on Keith. He'd sent him letters almost once a week, oftentimes including mix-tapes. Writing about all the good and fun times they had, making Keith remember by reminding him of the songs that connected them. There were songs they enjoyed dancing around to in their living room or at parties with their friends. There was that one song that had been put on while they made love for the first time, all awkward and nervous and giddy and so much infatuated, back while still living at Edith Grove so many years ago. There were some others that they had written and recorded together, among them obviously their first self-written song, which was a lovely ballad. And Keith would be lying if he claimed listening to these tapes didn't bring back some of the most beautiful memories he had. He couldn't deny, either, that hearing these songs made him nostalgic and that he desperately missed Mick, the wonderful times they had together. Once, only a few weeks back, Mick had enclosed a tape with a new recording. In the beginning, he was simply talking, sounding quite nervous while saying he hoped Keith was okay and that he wished they could eventually see each other again and just have a chat. Then he told him that he'd written a new song for him, before starting to play his acoustic guitar, singing along to it, at first a little insecure. The lyrics were completely heartfelt, though, apologetic, about regret and love and hope. Keith was left teary-eyed after listening to the recording. Mick's voice sounded soft but the feelings transported were raw and earnest. 

Sometimes, Mick sent him flowers or pictures with his letters instead of mix-tapes. Mostly it were pictures of them, when they were in their early twenties and madly in love, all crazy about each other. There were pictures of their wedding as they were slow dancing together, holding on to each other closely. It also were some random snaps from holiday trips that showed them all happy and excited. On the backside, he'd always scribble some short anecdotes, like: "Remember that time we went hiking and you brought back this hedgehog?", or: "I'll never forget how happy I was just because you were there with me". A couple of times Mick had added more recent pictures of himself and his baby boy, Alfie. The little one was adorable, he looked quite a lot like Mick and it was endearing for Keith to imagine that this was what he had looked like as well as a small child. 

One time, Mick had even made Alfie's mother show up at Keith's record store, reassuring him fervidly that there was nothing going on between her and Mick anymore and hadn't for a long time. That she was sorry to be part of the reason Mick had caused him so much pain and that the only thing she wanted was for Mick to be there for Alfie. She even assured him that Mick was absolutely gutted without Keith and all he wanted was getting him back because he still loved him dearly. As much as Keith tried to detest her and be jealous and mad, by the time she left, he couldn't hold a grudge against her any longer because she seemed to be a lovely person and above all, he believed her. 

It was a few days before his 40th birthday when Mick called him, once again. This time, Keith finally didn't put the phone right back down on him as he had done whenever Mick rang him up during the past months. 

"Hi, this is Mick", Keith heard him saying at the other end of the line. 

"Hey", he replied, answering him for the first time in an eternity. None of his urge to simply slam the phone down was left in that moment. On the contrary, Keith was actually glad to hear Mick's voice. They hadn't been talking to each other in months, all their communication was totally one sided: Mick sending him small reminders of their life together in the mail, almost like a peace offering. 

"You didn't hang up on me", Mick stated, almost astonished. 

"Not yet, at least", he meant, jokingly, not able to keep himself from chuckling lightly as he imagined Mick's surprised face. 

"How are you?", Mick wanted to know, he sounded relieved about the fact that Keith finally chose to talk to him. 

"Alright...the store's running, I'm jamming with Brian and Ronnie a lot...", he reported kind of short-spoken, because he was not ready to admit that in fact he really missed Mick. 

"I'm glad to hear that", Mick commented and in his imagination, Keith could see him smiling lightly. 

"I got all your letters, you know…", he offered then. 

He had them stashed away in one of his nightstand drawers, sometimes re-reading some of them when he couldn't fall asleep. It were apologetic words, words of regret and understanding. It were words of hurt and love and longing. Mick had added small anecdotes, quoted lines of songs and books, wrote his own poems. In the beginning, when Mick first started sending him these letters, his words had made Keith angry, hurting him all over again. But after a while, they started evoquing dozens of memories, leaving him nostalgic and teary-eyed, pining for these moments, pining for Mick. 

"I hope it weren't too many...", Mick sheepishly said. 

"No...it was...it was very thoughtful…I really liked them. Your tapes as well, they're lovely. Especially the song you wrote, I loved it...and the photos…", Keith admitted feeling a little flustered as he realised for the first time how much time and effort and sentiment Mick had put into all of this. It was like just as he was saying it out aloud, did he actually comprehend that Mick still truly loved him. A hell of a lot even. "How's Alfie?", he added, before he could get too overwhelmed by his thoughts. 

"He's perfectly adorable...growing so much every time I don't see him...he's really so precious", Mick started gushing and Keith felt a little smile creeping onto his face because of how proud Mick sounded. After meeting Alfie's mum a while back, there was next to no jealousy left in him. "You should meet him", Mick suggested then. 

"I'd like that", Keith replied without having to give it much thought. He really would love to get a chance to see Mick interacting with his boy, being all sweet and endearing like in the photos he sent him. 

"You would?", Mick asked, apparently he hadn't expected that reaction. 

"I'm sure you're being an amazing dad for him, Mick", Keith said, his voice almost gentle. 

Even if he would have attempted to still be pissed at Mick for all the hurt and heartbreak he'd put him through, by now it was really tough to keep up his anger. Besides, he couldn't and didn't want to despise him any longer. Keith had been in love with him for nearly twenty years before Mick ended up cheating on him, breaking his heart. Obviously, that love didn't dissolve into thin air from one day to the other. Much on the contrary. Despite everything that had happened, Keith couldn't stop loving him. And Mick's incredibly sweet and creative ways of trying to remind him of this fact had done their purpose. It had been a bit over a year since Mick had confessed to him about having an affair, more than a year since they split up. But before that, they had been together for all but twenty years, almost ten of which being married. By now, when thinking of Mick, there was no anger, no range left. There still was some hurt, but most of all there was longing because he missed him so badly. Part of him wanted to forgive Mick and take him back right away, wanted to tell him to come over this very instant so they could finally be together again. However, there was still a part left in him that was a little reluctant, marked by getting hurt this much, warning him to be cautious. 

"Thanks...I'm trying…", Mick returned almost coyly. "I...I was wondering...what are your plans for your birthday?", he wanted to know then. 

"I don't know...just...maybe grabbing a drink with the lads…", Keith shrugged because he hadn't really planned anything yet, although he figured that surely Ronnie might have the one or other thing up his sleeves. 

"I'd really love to see you, Keith...can I take you out for dinner maybe? If you're up to it, of course? I mean, if you don't want to, I'd understand, but...", Mick started rambling, his nerviness clearly audible. 

"Okay...fine", Keith disrupted him, simply agreeing because he was done resenting him, couldn't keep himself any longer from at least giving him a chance to prove himself a better man. 

"Fine?", he repeated as if he hadn't understood him correctly. 

"Yeah...I also want to see you, Mick. I'm missing you...", he eventually dared to admit, sighing. There wasn't even a question anymore whether he'd finally agree to give Mick another shot. It was all just about timing now. Not rushing things too much. Because Keith felt like he might need a little time to get adjusted to Mick again after barely seeing him or talking to him for a year. Or at least, he mused, it might be the best thing in order to lose his fear of getting hurt and disappointed once more. 

"I'm missing you, too...so badly. I'm so sorry about how things went, about everything...we should have talked...I should have told you how I was feeling…", Mick apologised yet again. But Keith was done hearing apologies. All he wanted was to have his husband back. 

"Mick...it's okay", he therefore said. 

"What?", Mick gave back, baffled. "What does that mean? Do you...forgive me?", he dared to ask. 

"I'm trying to...I'm trying to allow myself to trust you again", Keith explained, figuring out how to best put his feelings into words. 

"Did all my letters help?", Mick chuckled, but Keith could clearly hear that he wasn't as nonchalant and collected as he pretended to be. 

"In some way, they did...I guess", he acknowledged. "I still love you, Mick, you know…I never stopped...", he quietly admitted, his heart aching at these words, thinking about everything they had gone through since they first fell for each other all these years ago. 

It had all started with Keith thinking that he could never be with Mick because he felt that he had to stay with Hannah out of a sense of duty, although he didn't really love her. Then, Mick had assumed that Keith was cheating on him, only to figure out that he actually was a drug addict. Afterwards, going through rehab, while Mick was supporting him every step on the way, always being wonderfully understanding even when Keith's behaviour was insufferable. Just to find out a while later that Keith had a teenage daughter with Hannah that he hadn't known of. And of course, Mick betraying him, completely shattering him, breaking Keith's heart. The fact that they refused to simply give up on each other, on working to get back together, was proof enough for Keith that what they had was the real deal. Even despite being devastated after their break-up, deep down he was sure that Mick was the only one he wanted and truly cared about. There had never been anyone else who could even come close to making him feel the way Mick did. In his initial frustration and anger, he'd went out, grabbing drinks at pubs, eyeing up the people there. He hadn't found a single lad whom he could imagine fancying even just remotely. There had been a few beautiful women catching his eye, but he couldn't even be bothered to get interested in them in the slightest. He didn't want any more drama, all he wanted was to drink until he couldn't walk straight and the bartender had to call him a cab. 

"I love you too...so much", Mick replied, his voice choked. "I'm so sorry, Keith, I really am...I love you, I love you so bloody much…", he started crying, his sobs clearly audible through the phone. "Can I...can I come home to you again, baby?", he added, sounding all hoarse. "I wanna come home to you…please, let me come home...", in the end, his voice broke because he was completely reduced to tears. 

"Micky, hey...are you okay?", Keith asked after a moment, as he didn't stop weeping, which only made Mick cry harder at first. Then he started sniffling and rummaging around, apparently in search of a tissue, blowing his nose. 

"You...you didn't call me that in an eternity", he finally returned hiccupping, and surprisingly he sounded like he was chuckling lightly. 

"I know…", Keith replied with a little smile. "I love you. But I don't wanna rush things now...can we go have dinner first on my birthday?" 

"Sure...how about that nice place down on King's Road that you like?", Mick suggested, sounding more collected again. 

"I'd like that", he agreed immediately because actually he couldn't wait to finally see him again. 

"Then I'll make some reservations."

"Thanks", Keith mumbled. 

"I'm really looking forward to seeing you, Keith", Mick said and Keith knew that he was smiling because it was clearly audible in his voice. 

"Yeah, me either...", he meant, a wide smile creeping onto his face as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What cheered me up even more than all that cheesy fluff was Keith's latest IG vid...he is like a happy puppy :D it's just so amazing to see him this excited for the upcoming tour even after having done this for 60 years, just incredible! Is anyone going? I'm sad that I won't be able to make it, since obviously it's in the US, but I'm hopeful that they might be adding some European dates, maybe...I mean Keith managed to quit smoking after all (so proud of him!) to be able to be touring as long as possible :) <3


	16. It's okay now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :)  
this is the second to last chapter, so it's almost over...actually I finished the last one earlier but I need to re-read it. So I guess I'll post it within a few days :)  
But for now, enjoy this one, thank you all so much for reading!

December 1983

"Thanks", Keith mumbled almost coyly as they left the French restaurant in Chelsea, stepping outside into the chilly winter air. They'd been there countless of times before and Mick was well aware that it was one of Keith's favourites. For this reason, he had suggested taking him out to dinner there on his birthday. It seemed like exactly the right place for them to finally come together and reconcile. 

Before that night, they hadn't seen each other in months. Actually, it had been about half a year since they last talked in person when Mick had showed up at Keith's record store. Back then, things had still been rough and bumpy between them after their split-up following Mick's confession about having an affair. Keith had tried pushing him away as best as he could, still heartbroken and gutted, fearing that Mick might only hurt him once more if he let him get too close. He'd needed this time and space which Mick had eventually given him. Instead of continuously trying to get Keith to talk to him, calling him, or showing up at his store, he'd confined to writing him letters, making him mixtapes, and sending him pictures to remind him of the bond they still shared, the love they still held for each other. Eventually, he had succeeded with this approach, making Keith remember and get all nostalgic. He ended up missing Mick even more than he already did, willing to forgive him and longing to let him back into his life. And when Mick called him a couple of days ago, it hadn't been a hard decision to finally agree on meeting him.

"What for?", Mick returned, looking at him sheepishly as they were walking down the street. 

"A really nice evening…", Keith meant, biting his bottom lip as a little smile graced his face. 

"You don't have to thank me for that…", Mick said, naturally, smiling back at him. 

All night long, Keith had the impression that Mick was eager to prove to him that he desperately wanted to make things up to him. He'd been nothing but sweet and charming and funny the whole evening. And Keith had enjoyed every second of it, because he realised that he was still the same Mick he had first met and fallen in love with all these years ago. Who still deeply loved Keith and was awfully regretting what he'd done. 

"Then for making my birthday better than expected", he replied because it was the truth. 

"What did you expect?", Mick wanted to know. 

"Getting drunk with Ronnie...missing you…", Keith admitted, stuffing his clammy hands into the pockets of his dark jeans. 

"Keith…", Mick started, apparently ready to apologise yet again. But Keith didn't want or need to hear any more apologies. He'd begun forgiving him weeks ago. Now it all was just a matter of finding back together, not rushing things, because he wasn't sure whether he could handle it otherwise.

"It's okay, Mick", he only answered as they came closer to the next tube station. Keith could walk home, their flat wasn't even a mile away. But Mick was still living in his small flat in the north of London. At least for now. 

"Thanks for agreeing to see me", Mick told him as they came to a halt outside the underground station. 

"It was fun...I really had a great time", Keith admitted, wishing he could simply take back what he'd established before, that he didn't want Mick to come home with him that night. But obviously, it wasn't this simple. At first, he had to bring into accordance, what his heart was feeling, and what his mind kept telling him. Only then he'd be alright and ready to actually be with Mick again. 

"I'm glad you did", Mick agreed with a little smile. "Look...I know you said you didn't want me to accompany you. But...can I walk you home at least?", he added then, sounding quite cautious, awaiting Keith's reply all keyed up.

Seeing Mick like this, almost nervous, was something Keith hadn't experienced in an eternity, but he had to admit that Mick was pretty endearing when he was acting this coy. Eventually, he nodded in return. Because even though he was sticking with his word and wouldn't have Mick stay with him, he still didn't want to say goodbye right there. So they ended up walking the rest of the way to their flat, lightly chit-chatting, making each other laugh about old stories. 

"You sure you don't want me to stay with you tonight?", Mick asked him once they were standing on the landing in front of their flat. Mick hadn't stepped foot inside it in over half a year and Keith knew he was eager to come back home. But this night was too soon. 

"Mick…", Keith started, getting a little overwhelmed, not sure what else to tell him. Of course, he absolutely wanted Mick to finally come home to him. Only he couldn't bear it yet. Just the thought of having Mick there with him made his heart beat too hard in his chest as he got a little stressed out. 

"I know…", Mick assured him with a slight nod, not pressuring him further. 

"I need some more time", he eventually could come up with as an answer. 

"I understand. It's okay, baby", Mick reassured him once more. "Can we see each other again soon?"

"I'll call you", Keith agreed, because he needed Mick to know that he was up for it. Even if he could just take one small step at a time, he definitely wanted to get there. 

"I'll be looking forward to that", Mick smiled at him in reply. 

"Yeah, me too", he said, mirroring his smile. 

"Is it okay to hug you goodbye?", Mick dared to ask and Keith loved how considerate he was being. That he actually was listening to him instead of just trying to talk at him, whining about giving him another shot. 

He nodded once more before Mick already wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace, holding him close. Keith hugged him back, resting his face against Mick's neck for a moment, breathing in his well known scent.

"I missed you so badly…", Keith mumbled, tightening his grip on him, not able to let go yet. 

"It's okay now, baby", Mick whispered back, gently running his hand through Keith's hair. 

As they were ready to part from each other eventually, Mick snuck a tender little kiss to his cheek before pulling back completely. 

"Happy Birthday, my love", he said in a soft voice, giving him a loving smile. 

"Thanks, darling. Get home safe", Keith returned, sweetly smiling back at him, as Mick gave him a short wave of his hand before turning around, walking down the stairs


	17. There is so much about you that I love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
so this is it, the final chapter of this story. It's been amazing to be able to write this because I could try out so much with these oneshot chapters, really short ones, longer ones...and now, for the last part, obviously, I had to deliver the longest ;) It also was fun looking for titles that were parts of dialogues of each chapter (at least most of the time), haven't done that before. 
> 
> Also I kinda wanted to let this end where it all started with the first part of this series, where Mick and Keith are a bit older for once...but still very much in love...so, it will get quite cheesy, just a heads-up :D
> 
> But I really hope you liked this as much as I did and yeah, enjoy this final chapter! :)

June 1993

"I got a little something for you, darling", Keith announced as they arrived back home after eating dinner out at one of their favourite Italian restaurants the day of their twentieth wedding anniversary. 

"You didn't have to", Mick replied, flattered, even after such a long time. They had agreed on having a nice evening together but to not really get each other anything special since simply spending time together was worth more than anything else anyway. 

"But I absolutely wanted to...and I didn't buy it", Keith gave back with a wink as they were standing in the kitchen, Mick pouring two glasses of red wine. 

"Is it a song?", Mick guessed, a lopsided grin on his face as he turned towards him, a glass of wine in each hand. 

"How did you know?", Keith chuckled while they were retreating into their living room to get cozy on the couch. 

"It's always a song, not that I mind, though...on the contrary", Mick meant, giving him a sweet smile as he scooted closer towards Keith, bedding his head against his shoulder. 

"Was it too obvious?", Keith asked, the smirk in his voice clearly audible.

"Just a little", Mick returned with a grin, turning his head to sneak a quick kiss onto Keith's shoulder. 

"You're my greatest inspiration, baby...always have been", Keith admitted, his voice all gentle. 

"Don't make me blush", Mick couldn't stop himself from smiling giddily, feeling how his cheeks actually flushed. Keith still being able to make him feel like this would never cease to amaze him. It always served as a reminder of how deeply they loved each other.

"But it's true", Keith insisted, resting one of his hands on Mick's knee, squeezing it lightly as he sipped on his wine. 

"I know", Mick smirked and Keith chuckled.

"You're a twat", he meant, grinning, as he squeezed his leg once more. 

"Hey now! Is that your way of addressing your husband of twenty years?", Mick wanted to know, faking complaint, nudging his arm. 

"Twenty years…damn", Keith said as if he had only realised right this moment that it was their anniversary. Maybe it was just then that he actually registered what it truly meant. 

"Damn", Mick repeated, only slowly comprehending himself that it had been even longer than this. That they'd been together for thirty years, which was more than half their whole lives. 

"I didn't think we'd still be stuck together now…", Keith mumbled, slowly trailing his hand over Mick's thigh. 

"Stuck?", he asked, only sounding somewhat amused about his husband's choice of words. 

"You know what I mean", Keith chuckled. 

"Why not?", Mick wanted to know, lifting his head off of Keith's shoulder to better be able to look at him.

"Well...after everything...and we were so young when we first met…we were just boys. There was no way to ever foresee this…", Keith explained, trailing off eventually. 

"But I couldn't imagine anyone else I'd rather be stuck with, love", Mick clarified, while Keith nodded in agreement. 

"Neither can I, sweet darling", Keith smiled at him in a loving way, the look in his eyes all tender. Instead of replying, Mick mirrored his smile, and then leaned over to engage him in a gentle kiss. 

"What about that song now, babe?", he whispered after they parted again because he was curious what Keith had come up with. 

"Just let me fetch my guitar", Keith said, pecking his cheek before getting up to take his acoustic guitar from the stand at the other side of the living room. He then sat back down next to him, picking at the strings to check out whether they were still in tune. After some glamping around, he started playing a catchy little melody with a really nice picking pattern. Eventually, he ended up singing along to it and it was absolutely enthralling. The lyrics were amazingly lovely and Keith's voice sounded soft, even though his emotions were raw. Mick listened to him almost mesmerised, captivated by the way his fingers were dancing over the strings and how perfect his lyrics sounded. 

"It's so beautiful…", Mick whispered once Keith had finished singing and the last tunes were fading out. "That tune compliments your voice so perfectly…I've always really loved your singing voice, baby", he added, smiling at him widely. 

"Thanks...it's all for you", Keith replied, sounding almost coy as he kept picking around on his guitar. 

"Thanks, baby", Mick smiled, watching his fingers move over the strings for a little longer. 

"I'd love to sing a song together with you, like we used to…", Keith meant after a while of strumming around. 

"Well, let's sing then", Mick suggested all eager to get right into it. 

"No, I meant...when we were playing gigs in the past…", Keith clarified. "And we'd sing together on stage...I kinda miss doing that with you", he added, almost sounding nostalgic.

"We didn't get to play one in a while...maybe we should go jam with the boys again", Mick agreed because now that Keith had mentioned it, he realised that he'd actually been missing it too. 

"We should", Keith nodded in excitement. 

Mick began humming the tune of one of the songs that they had written together years ago, then he started singing the lyrics, looking at Keith expectantly. "Come on", he prompted him to join in, slightly pushing his arm. Keith laughed, picking up the tune on his guitar, while Mick was clapping his hands. He couldn't remember the last time they'd actually been singing or jamming together, but it definitely had been too long. 

They'd both been way too busy with their jobs lately, but this would change soon, now that Mick had quit with the BBC2 radio and had rather taken a job at a small radio station. It would allow him to work more regular hours, no odd early morning or night shifts, no more travelling around the country to report live from concerts or movie festivals, interviewing bands or aspiring actors. Of course, it had been an exciting experience and a really fun job that he greatly enjoyed doing for almost two years, but at the end of the day, it was just his job. He was tired of all the nights spent at the radio station, or in hotel rooms, hours away from home, falling asleep alone, missing Keith. But very soon they'd be able to spend more time together again with Mick working at his new job. He'd only signed the contract this very day and when he told Keith earlier during dinner, they both couldn't have been happier about that perspective. 

Keeping their gaze fixed on the other's, both smiling because they were completely enjoying the moment, they finished singing their song, grinning at each other all amazed and giddy. 

"You're still the greatest R&B singer on this side of the Atlantic", Keith told him, almost in awe, flattering Mick and making him chuckle lightly.

"You're so sweet, baby", he meant, gazing at him lovingly. 

"It's the truth", Keith affirmed him with a warm smile before putting his guitar aside in order to be able to take Mick into his arms. 

Mick snuggled up to him, wrapping his arms around Keith in a tender embrace. For a while they stayed huddled up like this, enjoying the other's closeness, Keith nuzzling his face against Mick's neck. Eventually, he started spreading little kisses there as Mick hugged him closer, one hand digging into the hair on the back of Keith's head. While lightly pushing him into a lying position, Keith kept pressing kisses to his skin, trailing up his throat and jaw until he was able to capture Mick's lips with his own. Happily smiling into the kiss, Mick pulled Keith down so he was pressed against him, their legs getting all entangled. They kept sharing loving kisses for a while, breaking apart every now and then to catch a breath, only to find their lips glued to the other's again mere seconds later. Even after all these years of being together, they still couldn't get enough of each other, probably wanted each other even more now after everything they had gone through. As Keith ran a hand down his side, tugging at the hem of his shirt, Mick shuddered lightly in anticipation. Hugging Keith's body tighter to his own, one of his hands wandered down his back, along his spine until he reached his bum, giving it a light squeeze through his jeans. Keith let out a little gasp, almost in surprise, as he rocked against him and Mick grinned about his reaction. For a while, they continued kissing longingly, content little sighs leaving their mouths as their hands kept roaming, tracing soft trails on the other's body. 

"Baby…", Mick sighed into one of their kisses, wriggling a bit underneath him to shift his position, feeling that he started getting slightly aroused. Obviously noticing, Keith chuckled a little, rocking against him once more, making Mick pant softly. 

"Bedroom?", he mumbled close to Keith's ear, because their bed was way nicer and more comfortable than the couch. Humming in agreement, Keith pressed some more tender kisses to his lips, before getting up, holding his hand out for Mick to grab it. 

"Come on, darling", Keith smiled, pulling him up, once more embracing him in his arms as they started kissing with more desire.

"What is it, babe?", Mick asked, a hint of concern detectable in his voice. Almost out of the blue, Keith had noticeably tensed up and broken away from the kiss they were sharing. Obviously, Mick stopped unbuttoning Keith's shirt, taking his hand away and shifted off of Keith's lap, watching him carefully. 

"Nothing…", Keith mumbled, while he kept trying to further fumble around on Mick's shirt but was stopped by him, as he wrapped his hands around Keith's wrists, giving him a stern look. Eventually, Keith sighed, loosening his hands out of Mick's grip, starting to nestle around on the blanket instead. 

"It's dumb…", he uttered, sighing once more before looking back at Mick. "Just...kiss me again, will you?", he suggested to him, looking at him expectantly, but Mick shook his head. 

"Keith...tell me", he prompted because if something wasn't alright, he wanted to know. They'd promised each other long ago that they'd be talking about whatever concerned them and Keith clearly seemed to be distraught at the moment. 

He sighed. "I just...it just came to my mind again right now. You know, after thinking about being together for all that time...and realising we're only getting older…", he shrugged, trying to play it down. 

"What's up, baby?", Mick kept asking, though, actually getting increasingly concerned about what Keith had to tell him. However, his next words nearly startled him. 

"I feel like I'm getting out of shape…", Keith sighed and Mick only stared at him for a second because this reply wasn't at all what he had expected. 

"What do you mean?", he dug deeper because he wasn't quite sure what Keith wanted to be getting at. 

"Do you think I'm still attractive?", Keith mumbled, his gaze averted to his own hand dangled in the sheets. 

"What?", Mick returned, sounding dumbfounded because he didn't understand where this was coming from. He knew very well how coy, even bashful Keith could get at times. When they first met, he'd barely been able to look him in the eyes. But this had been decades ago. There was no reason left anymore why Keith should be all sheepish and insecure around him. Not after twenty years of being married. Yet, he appeared all awkward and actually self-conscious, and Mick had no clue why Keith was feeling like that. Which left him somewhat irritated and worried for him. 

"Why, of course!", was what he returned, because what else should he have said? It was the truth. He simply didn't comprehend how Keith could be in doubt about that. Not when they were in bed together and all Mick wanted to do was to make love to him. 

"In case you didn't realise, baby, I didn't take you to bed to just fall asleep together", he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, as he reached out to gently press Keith's hand. 

"No, I mean it, Mick…", he muttered, still troubled.

"Well, I do, too! Of course I'm attracted to you, love. You're the most handsome man I've ever seen…I want you", Mick reassured him, watching him closely. "Why would you even think that I didn't?", he added, trying to understand what was going on with Keith. "Did I do something wrong?", he asked as he realised that maybe it wasn't about Keith but about himself. 

"No...god, no...you're wonderful", Keith meant, squeezing his hand as well, as if to underline his statement. "I told you, it's dumb...it's just...you've always been so fit...and I...we're not really getting any younger, I guess…", he stammered, not able to directly look at Mick as he clearly blushed. 

"I don't care, baby...you're perfect to me", Mick assured him, intertwining their fingers, then leading Keith's hand to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to its back. If Keith hadn't mentioned anything, he wouldn't have figured at all that he might be feeling that way. Of course, they weren't as young anymore as back in the day, but he hadn't noticed anything that Keith should be worrying about. 

"You're still looking amazing...you're so beautiful…", Keith sighed.

"But so are you, love", Mick assured him, lightly pressing his hand once more. 

"Well...look at that", Keith lifted up his halfway unbuttoned shirt with his free hand, displaying his stomach to Mick. He looked down, blinking, still wondering, before facing Keith again. In his opinion, there was nothing wrong with it. Sure, Keith had been slimmer once, quite well defined, his hip bones more protruding. But he still was somewhat bony now, his ribs and collarbones showing underneath his skin. 

"It's your belly", Mick replied completely natural, letting go of Keith's hand to be able to gently touch his stomach, but Keith stopped him, pushing his shirt back down. 

"I'm starting to get out of shape", Keith repeated, almost dejected. 

"Baby...come on, it's not bad...there is nothing wrong with you", he reminded him, still not understanding why Keith would even think that the way his belly looked would somehow put Mick off. Since obviously, it didn't in the slightest. 

"Maybe I should come running with you", Keith mused, gaze still averted from Mick. 

"You hate running", he pointed out with a smirk. 

"I do…"

"Well, you could try again", Mick shrugged. "But you don't have to force yourself to just because you think you're not fit enough for me", he added then since it was the truth. "I love you, Keith...and I don't care about anything else. Not about...wrinkles, or grey hair, or that you're not having abs anymore...because you're so bloody handsome to me either way and I still want you…", he made sure to point out. 

"Weren't you saying just last week that you'll dye your hair once you find any grey strands?", Keith remembered, but in a joking way. 

"Oh, come on, baby...it hasn't come to that yet. Also can we finally go back to where we left off?", Mick returned, chuckling. " Because I really want you right now...in case you were still wondering whether or not I was attracted to you...cause I am, quite a lot", he said, grinning at him. "And you know...it's another way of getting some exercise", he added, winking at Keith, as he finally continued unbuttoning his shirt. Keith started chuckling, humming in agreement, before they shared another longing kiss and he went back to undressing Mick as well. 

"You're gorgeous, baby...I don't want you to think otherwise", Mick assured him once he had stripped Keith's shirt off of his shoulders, and they had struggled out of their trousers, letting one of his hands rest against his chest. "I love you...because you're a wonderful person, Keith, and a brilliant musician. You're so charming and funny and have a great laugh. You know, you always manage to cheer me up, no matter what...", he told him, giving him a soft smile. "And you're so caring and so sweet to me, always...even when I felt I didn't deserve you because you're actually too good for me, baby", Mick went on, letting Keith know what he should have told him before, what he probably should be reminding him of more often. "There is so much about you that I love, Keith...but I really don't care about this…", he quietly said, while trailing his fingers across Keith's chest, over soft, dark hair down to his belly, gently drawing small patterns there. 

"Actually, I think you're feeling really nice, soft…", he mumbled, before leaning in to him, pecking his lips and laying them both down onto their sides, facing each other. 

"I love you so much, Mick…", Keith whispered and his voice awfully sounded like he was choking back tears because he was so touched by Mick's words. 

"It's all fine, baby…I love you so much, too", Mick whispered back, scooting closer, kissing Keith gently, one hand cupping his cheek. The kisses they kept sharing for a while were sweet, almost innocent. Only as Keith finally deepened their kiss, pulling him closer, Mick rolled over on top of him, their bodies pressing against each other's. Feeling Keith's heated skin against his own, Mick trembled in anticipation as his lips wandered along Keith's jaw and throat to his neck. He kept nibbling on and worrying his skin, well aware that he'd leave some hickeys. Keith's reaction was a content little sigh, tilting his neck back as he wrapped his arms around Mick tighter. 

Purposefully, Mick took his sweet time, spreading trails of little kisses onto Keith's chest, smiling happily at his pleased sighs. Then he kissed his way down to his belly, caressing every inch of his skin, trying to make sure Keith understood that he loved all of him. As he reached the waistband of his underpants, Mick couldn't stop himself from grinning as he realised how worked up Keith already was. Slowly, he started touching him through the thin fabric, eager to keep teasing him for a while longer. Keith let out a soft pant, pressing himself against his hand as Mick slid up to him again, going back to kissing his neck because he wanted to drag things out, make it more enjoyable for both of them.

"Baby?", Mick muttered against his skin between pressing tender kisses there. 

"Hmmm…", Keith got out before a stifled moan escaped his mouth as Mick finally slipped his hand inside his pants, brushing his fingers against him. 

"Can I...do you want me to take you tonight?", he asked, lifting his head to carefully observe Keith. Most of the time, they both enjoyed it better the other way round, when Keith would be taking Mick. But this night, Mick definitely was in the mood for a change, so he could make sure Keith was having a great time, showing him how badly he still wanted him and how much he loved him.

"You...you want to?", Keith breathed out, it almost came across as surprised. Mick smiled at him and nodded, excited because he didn't have Keith in a while. 

"I'd love to, if you like", he mumbled, leaning closer again, nibbling lightly on his earlobe, as he felt himself getting more aroused just thinking about what they were about to be doing. 

"Of course, darling...", Keith almost groaned as Mick slowly started to circle his thumb around his tip.

"I want to take really good care of you, my love...", he whispered softly before engaging Keith in a passionate kiss.

Mick ended up exploring Keith's body with his hands and lips as if he didn't have the past thirty years to memorise every single part of him, but like he was getting to know him in an entirely new way. There was nothing about Keith, not even after all this time, that made caressing him any less enthralling than it had been in the very beginning. Making love to him was just as wonderful and exciting as it had ever been and Mick couldn't get enough of it, couldn't get enough of Keith. Though, these days they weren't two clumsy, nervous boys any longer but both knew exactly how to move or touch the other to make each other get almost ecstatic. Still being able to do this, eliciting these reactions from Keith, was something Mick was greatly enjoying as he slowly, tenderly, kept up his caresses, making Keith ache and moan in pleasure. 

They were tightly holding on to each other, Keith's legs wrapped around Mick's hips, their fingers intertwined, almost like a promise to never let the other go, not ever again. And as Mick was striking Keith with slow, deep thrusts, they kept sharing fierce kisses, only breaking apart to focus their gaze on the other's. The feelings visible in Keith's eyes almost overwhelmed him, as he found the same love and tenderness and longing mirrored in their warm brown that Mick himself possessed for Keith. He felt his chest swelling with affection as his eyes stayed locked on Keith's and there was so much more he wanted to tell him. However, seeing the sentiment in Keith's eyes, Mick was certain that he knew, even without uttering these words. The only thing his love clogged brain managed to come up with, anyway, was the most simple, yet the most important. 

"I love you, baby...so much...you're so beautiful…", Mick whispered in a soft voice as he gave Keith a sweet smile. 

"Love you too, darling", Keith managed to reply between little moans, looking at him gently, before pulling Mick in for another keen kiss. 

Although Mick felt himself drawing closer, he tried dragging it out for as long as possible. Because being connected to Keith in this way was beyond any words, something entirely wonderful, almost extramundane. The way their bodies were perfectly melting into the other's, the warmth and touch of Keith's skin the sole thing he was feeling, as content sighs and pleased moans were filling the air between them. When Keith's moans turned into a low whimper, Mick knew they both wouldn't last much longer. Burying his face against Keith's neck, possibly leaving another hickey, he deepened his thrusts, trailing one hand down Keith's body and sliding it between them. Keith rocked his hips underneath him as Mick graced him, gently teasing him some more. Soon he could feel Keith trembling, clutching on to him even tighter. Eventually, they finished off together, Keith clenching around him, Mick's name on his lips as he came, and Mick shuddering, crying out in pleasure before sinking down to rest on Keith, both heavily panting and shaking. 

His head bedded on Keith's chest, Mick dreamily was drawing little patterns onto Keith's ribcage. Meanwhile, Keith kept raking his fingers through Mick's damp hair as they slowly were calming down from their bliss. Like this, they stayed tightly huddled up against each other until they both returned to breathing more evenly.

"You know, forget about the running...let's just do more of this", Keith chuckled, after they'd managed to get cleaned up a little and then snuggled up together under the blankets again. 

"It definitely is way more fun", Mick meant, grinning widely, pressing a quick kiss to Keith's chest. "Good thing we'll be seeing each other more often very soon…", he added, looking at Keith with a tired, but loving smile. 

"Can't wait for this, baby", he gave back, returning his smile. Mick nuzzled his face against him, a content noise escaping him as Keith wrapped his arms tighter around his body. Listening to Keith's heartbeat, engulfed by his warmth, Mick noticed how he slowly started drifting off to sleep.

"Night, love", he managed to mumble, his voice already sounding sleepy. 

"G'night, my darling", was the last thing he heard Keith whispering back at him before his tiredness got the better of him and Mick fell asleep, closely snuggled up to Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that this one is finished, I am fully prepared to focus on Far From Perfect again, which I already kept having ideas for over the past few months. Really cannot wait working on that story again, it means so much to me!


End file.
